Revisit Praise of Care-Partner

..This entry is written by Truthful Loving Kindness (yes, that is my full legal name) for publishing at http://www.truthfulkindness.com ,
so PLEASE address any questions or comments to that website, regardless of which website shows these words.  Most of this entry was originally posted in 2019, with changes to make it more current.

My husband / care-partner deserves great  thanks.

He is now fully retired from work outside of taking care of me and our home (which is MORE than a full-time job).

Husband does all the cooking, cleaning, finances, shopping, etc. … plus functioning as my back-up brain, back-up care for my service dog, and total care for my chickens since i am no longer able to care for them. 

My protein blend is a big part of keeping my blood sugar consistent throughout the day.  He mixes dry ingredients in 2-gallon container, then every week he creates the concentrated liquid for my protein powder – chocolate-coffee drink.  Since my tremors have increased so dramatically, i am no longer able to dilute the drink, so he now keeps a small quart-size pitcher with my protein drink in the door of fridge, allowing me to pour it myself instead of calling for him.

My control-area of kitchen is small because my kitchen responsibilities are minimal;
i cook 1 Tbsp oats every day (in microwave),
and i re-heat drinks and foods that my husband has prepared for me.

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Cleaning is often a huge problem for me, because i do not remember where i have cleaned and what still needs done.  So i no longer attempt cleaning.  i try to keep  very strong self-discipline, but with dementia symptoms that is not always an asset.  Husband left for work one day with me washing the kitchen floor — when he returned i was still on hands and knees washing the kitchen floor – with painful body and tears of frustration because i knew that at least some areas of floor must be tremendously clean after all these hours, but could not remember where i washed and where i did not wash yet.  That was the last time i did any washing of floors. 
I wash my own dishes, but he says i get dirty water on the clean dishes.  (I dont — but that is what HE thinks, LOL.)  My tremors are intense, so I often break dishes when trying to put them away, leaving glass all over the floor and inside cabinets where i was trying to put away dishes.  etc.

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In earlier years i was the one responsible for finances, but since i no longer understand numerical concepts, he needed to take that over entirely. I began forgetting simple driving instructions (like how to make the car go backward), so husband drives me everywhere i need to go.  He does all the shopping, evaluation of needed supplies, etc.

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it feels independent to still prepare my weekly pill-packs, but he runs oversight, making sure i remember to put clean towel under the processing area, wash my hands, etc.  If i am interrupted during task, he helps me figure out how to resume/finish the task.  And he tracks when prescriptions need re-filled.

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New changes in this past year are that husband now needs to help me take bath, remind me of aspects for daily hygiene, and help dress me if other than my daily zip-up “Lounge Gown”.  i rarely need make-up, but when make up is necessary then husband needs to do it, because my tremors make that a horrid mess. 

Swallow problems are now in control by putting less in my mouth at any one time, and by making sure i have no distractions; toileting must be BEFORE eating, and frequently throughout the day.  Swallowing requires full focus.  Walking requires full focus.  Conversation requires full focus, etc.

Husband is also needing to step in much more often during conversation or projects with others, because i forget names, and what i was saying.  He reviews every blog entry now; not to correct grammar or syntax, but to verify that what i have written is actually the concept i was trying to portray.

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Our conversation is full of misunderstandings now, and i realize that my behavior has changed a lot (without much smell, taste, or other pleasure-sensors that can so enhance married life).  i am very appreciative for his consistent care, and efforts to retain communication.  My husband is a jewel among men.

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Husband enables me to invest most of my time and energy in dementia awareness and advocacy.  If HE was not available to compensate for my dys-Abilities, then i would have no time or energy for dementia issues or art.  … So i try to make sure he gets a bit of “time off” also.    It is a partnership dance.  Even during the times when our “dancing” is just me moving my feet while he holds me up — we are still moving together.  (This photo is obviously not me, but i have no pictures of us dancing.)

“Effective Listening for Partnership” at https://truthfulkindness.com/2019/06/10/effective-listening-partner/ ;

Original version of “Partner Praise” at https://truthfulkindness.com/2019/11/11/partner-praise/ ;

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… and you might want to check out the Links gathered for Dementia Symptoms and Strategies (alphabetized) at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/d-info/links-sx-strategies/.

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* Admin issues:

SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”.  If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry.  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** …  If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. 
Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 14Feb2022.  Photo of me and Guy in Zoom 14Feb2022 (and also our photo on Skunk train in 2019).  
i dont mind re-posting of things i write, but if you re-post then i expect you to make it clear this is NOT written by you. My authorship as Truthful Kindness (my legal name) must be clearly identified, and provide very prominent Link to my website so that questions and comments can be addressed to ME personally at http://www.truthfulkindness.com . .
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5 thoughts on “Revisit Praise of Care-Partner

  1. Pingback: Revisit Praise of Care-Partner | Truthful Loving Kindness - JungleLAD

  2. My dear Truthful Living Kindness, thank you so much for this and your other posts. I have dementia too and my husband is a rock in my life and works so very hard–with humor and joy and love–to help me get through the days. I sent my husband the link and told him that the acknowledgment and gratitude you express applies to him too. My warmest wishes and greetings go out to you and him and all those you love. Your dementia buddy, Gerda

    Like

    • So sorry it took this long to reply. Apparently i just entirely missed your comment until now. Thank you, Gerda, for your thoughtful comment. Are you in peer group with others who have dementia (ie Dementia Mentors, Dementia Alliance International support groups, Dementia Action Alliance discussion times, etc ????

      Like

  3. Pingback: Partner Praise | Truthful Loving Kindness

  4. Pingback: February Pages | Truthful Loving Kindness

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