“How I react is where the answer lies.”
… *** …
Excerpt from Missy’s journal at https://www.facebook.com/livingwithearlyonsetalzheimers/ .
So it seems that since I almost burned down the house while cooking lunch today I have been in a downward spiral. Ok so I just forgot to turn on the vent and the house filled with smoke. The alarm company already had the fire Department on the way but we got the alarm stopped and cancelled them from coming.
Thank goodness! It can happen to anyone right?
I thought that I would pop on while I am in the midst of a meltdown.
Lol aren’t y’all lucky!
I thought that maybe trying to lay down and nap might help but that didn’t and I couldn’t nap anyway. Tears run down my face but I’m not crying. I feel like my entire insides are shaking and my essential tremor seems exaggerated. I am really having a difficult time holding my phone still enough to post this. I am using my phone because it has spell check and it is basically having to decipher every word that I try to type. This would be a jumbled mess on my laptop… as it this is any better but at least most words are spelled correctly. Speech is difficult not like a few weeks ago just feels forced and hurried.
Makes no sense I know just how it is.
I guess I should have titled this sundowning 101.
How’s my confusion level at this moment? Pretty high but I am trying to focus on this post and not dwell on it/ I think that is called redirecting and that is a useful tool for not only caregivers but those of us living with dementia. Sundowning is a b… well it’s horrible and it had not been rearing it’s ugly head for a while now. But, I guess it’s back!
My sweet husband keeps asking what he can do? That breaks my heart because I sure wish I knew. One thing that I do know is that he would do anything that I asked but there is nothing that can be done.
So for those of you who want to know how Alzheimer_s feels this is one aspect of it.
How I react is where the answer lies.
I want to cry hard and scream loud
and at the same time I just want to ball up quietly and pray that it goes away.
Good news is .:: this feeling usually does.
If and when it doesn’t I will cross that bridge and hopefully be unaware of what is happening.
Here’s as honest and ugly post as you will ever get. Alzheimer’s sucks more than words could ever explain. But I’m lucky enough to still reason that I am home and I am safe.
I just have to get through the next few hours and I WILL because I’m stronger than ALZ thinks I am. You ugly demon I’m not done. You didn’t win this battle my shaking is better and spell check is getting to rest a little.
Above is excerpted, with permission, from Missy’s journal at https://www.facebook.com/livingwithearlyonsetalzheimers/posts/162540132023869 on 09Aug2020.
Index for Missy’s pages in my blogsite >> https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/missy/ .
. * Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”. If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** … If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. Text Copyright © by Missy 09Aug2020, and permission given at that page on 06Dec2020, but i have put some things in bold font, and added row breaks for clarity. Copyright for graphic to ArtTower on PixaBay. Posted 06Dec2020. Tags: alzheimers, behavior, confusion, dementia, panic, persons living with dementia, PLwD, sundowner,