July 3: I’m sitting here trying to get my thoughts in order and having a difficult time of it.
I can’t seem to concentrate on anything and I’ve spent the last ½ hours figuring that out.
I know I want to write something but I don’t know how or why.

Sometimes my body is running on autopilot and
I have no idea why I am doing something, but I know I have to.
These are the days my disease gets the most scary because I am losing control and I realize it.
…

I’m told to live in the moment, but this is one I don’t want to live in.
The clouds will lift and my day will go on,
but I will know that I lost another piece of my being.

I can’t always wear a smile,

there are days I just want to scream and vent my anger.
This is another change in my personality, the anger.

.

July 5:  I so wish I could clear my head and walk out of the fog I am in. …
So many of us live in this constant fog and there is no escape.
It is so hard to concentrate on anything and your mind constantly seems to wander.
I can’t focus on anything because nothing makes sense to me.
It almost seems like I can’t recognize anything I look at.

It is getting worse and I know that.
There is a bend in the road and I can no longer see what is ahead of me.
I have faith that this will clear up and once again I will be on a straight path.

I share my feeling not to scare you or pity me
but rather to let you have a better understanding what everyone with dementia experiences and may not be able to express them.

Nothing can simulate the feelings of dementia nor is there a book that can actually explain the feelings of dementia.
In order to understand these feeling, you must talk to someone living the disease.
Most people give you their perceptions of the disease, but unless you are living with it, you have no clue.

Originally shared by Harry Urban 05Jul2020 at https://www.facebook.com/harry.urban1/posts/3174368869250447 .