UnControllable Fury with Dementia

here is an entry from Harry Urban (23 Mar2017). … including his later reply to one of the comments he received (below):

Mar 23, 2017:

You never know lonely until you step off that cliff and hit bottom.
You don’t float down,
you crash and burn.

All your bent up emotions flair to life
and ignite into a uncontrollable fury.

Don’t tell me you know dementia until you walk where I do.

A bad day for someone living with dementia is nothing like a bad hair day. If you want to know what it is like, talk to me today. If I don’t bite your head off and kick you out, you will understand what my world is like.

People ask me why I never write about a bad day and this is why.
I am hateful and get downright ugly.
I am so far out of my normal character that you would not want to spend a minute with me.
On a bad day, there is no help.

No one can get close enough … to help …

You are so alone.


Maybe bad days should be left untold.
This hate comes out of you which you never knew you had.

Evan God shies away from you.

waits until you are done,
then gently picks up the pieces
and gives you the strength for that next bad day.

— Harry Urban, 23 Mar 2017

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… and Harry’s reply to a reader’s comment:

“Praise the Lord I did not read your post yesterday,
my response would have been so different.

When someone experiences a bad day,
it has nothing to do with gratitude, life style or shoe size.

It is based on the emotional letdown that you are experiencing.
Some think a bad day may be when things don’t go your way
or you are having problems doing everyday chores.

A bad day for someone living with dementia
is quite different than one you may have.

We have basically stepped off the cliff we were hanging onto,
and lost all control over our emotions.
All the frustrations of living with dementia comes to the surface
and pure emotion like sorrow and anger is magnified to a point where
you may lose control of yourself.

Trying to pacify me
or play music
will not help and
may compound the situation.

There is no trying to fix a bad day
for someone living with dementia,
you can only hang on
and wait out the storm.

— Harry Urban 24 March 2017

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See entire entry here >> https://www.facebook.com/harry.urban1/posts/1360734220613930

Index for Harry’s pages in my blogsite >> https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/harry-urban/

Above are excerpted with permission, from Harry’s blog at

Harry also has a group of both text and virtual support groups through “Forget Me Not” on FaceBook.

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