PWD Harry Urban July 2015 Part A

ALL of them are excellent, but these are my favorite excerpts from Harry Urban’s blog during first half of July 2015  (Part A).

 Harry Urban  July 2 at 11:35am ·

 When you are caring for someone with dementia, remove the words “I was only kidding” from your vocabulary. We have problems processing what you are saying and take everything you say literally. After you light that fuse, I was only kidding will not blow it out.

Communicating with someone with dementia is far different then it used to be. I hear all the time that I can’t take a joke anymore but in reality, my brain does not process what you said as a joke. I may only process every other word you say and if I miss the punchline I will react to what I heard and understood.

It’s a new way of life when you are caring for someone and the more you learn, the easier it will get.

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 Harry Urban Santa has been busy this week in his workshop turning three more Treasure Boxes. Problem is, Mrs Claus keeps claiming them once they are finished. · July 2
July 5  Harry Urban

When you talk about awareness, you not only need to talk with knowledge but you have to live it. Getting your knowledge from someone that is living well with their disease is one thing but the true knowledge come from those unable to speak. These are the people that are so trapped inside their disease but are not able to be reached.

This is when you have to work to retrieve the knowledge they hold. You have to be willing to shed their tears and feel their pain. When you walk in my world, care must be taken that you do not get trapped there.

Awareness is more then caring for someone, it is understanding why dementia is so painful to us. It is understanding why we want it to go away and stop the emotions that goes with dementia. Walking the tightrope of sanity, few people want to do,
but many like to tell what it is like.

 Harry Urban July 12, 2015 at 7:54am ·

 Trapped in my body and unable to do anything about it. I know what I want to say but just can’t put it into words. How many of us living with dementia have these thoughts? We are losing the ability to express ourselves and at times our frustrations lead to anger.

It’s on the tip of my tongue but just won’t come out. It is frustrating for us because we know the answer but our mind can not retrieve it. You know what I mean or don’t you remember just adds to the frustration.

I think we have a tendency to give up rather then fight for the words. I was speaking at a Memory Cafe this past week and all of a sudden I lost my train of thought. I was embarrassed but instead of fighting for the words, I simply moved on to something else.

There is so many things we can learn to do to sidestep those embarrassing situations and redirect ourselves from a angry situation that may have followed.Adapting to you disease and finding your own ways to handle the many problems we face, will not only give you inner peace but make your life more enjoyable.

and at 8:44am

Why does family only want to be involved in our care when we reach our end stages? They never cared about use through all the many years of struggle but when we reach the end, they are there with their hands out.

So many families are torn apart at the end because the children now want a say in their care. They were to busy before but now they want to be involved. Don’t they realize I may no longer know them and see them as strangers.

The people that are caring for me are doing the best job that they could possible do and those are the ones I want to be around at the end. To the people that aboandoned me along the way, stay there because you gave up your rights. I am not being bitter but saying what so many people living with dementia are thinking.


Above are excerpts from Harry’s blog at

* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. If interested in receiving notice of future blog postings there is a “follow” button in the upper left corner (MS Explorer) or lower right (Safari and Chrome). Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. — Copyright by Harry Urban on 2015-07/02 Registered & Protected


One thought on “PWD Harry Urban July 2015 Part A

  1. Pingback: July Pages by others with Dementia Symptoms Part 1 | Truthful Loving Kindness

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