Well another day ! We wew blessed to have 4 of our grandchildren with us, this old lady got tired hehe.
I was thinking as i saw my dr the other day of ways to improve my illness. Alzheimers is only one of them, my heart, kidneys, lungs , liver are all damaged due to lupus. This i have dealt with for 40 years.

I have to say having the dx of alz has been the hardest on me, I have lost what remaining friends i had and cant get people to listen when i try to spread awareness.

I told my dr that i cannot sleep due to the past memories long forgotten have come into my dreams, he said ti is common for alz pts. I know everyone is different. When i was dx i had a definite plan, i would do my best till i crossed the line, i would write my notes and take all my meds and drift off to Jesus…I am happy to say that due to my faith in Jesusand the pain i woud cause my family that is no longer an option. i am seeking therapy instead and trying to work on a book about my experience, Joe works very hard, we had lost everything due to medical bills and had to abandon our home for which we are being sued due to the fact it was filled with toxic black mold.I do not have the luxury to do any of my bucket list, my dreams, but we are toeghter that will never change, he realy is my knight in shining armor.

These are the things i look forward to .. a tomorrow filed with hope, hope that not i will be cured but hope that after i am gone someone will be cured. i have faith i stopped asking why me? i believe Jesus has a hand in everything and im sure He does in my life.i have joy, waking up to the most anazing man who fulfills my every need. Never did he think he woud have to dress me or fed me or remind me to eat. We figured out at the drs that i do not eat or drink, i eat about 700 calories a week and im diabetic on two insulins.. yes i am still blessed for i know Joe will not run when he has to change me or feed me, he already has to shower me.

i believe i have gon through the 5 stages of grief, i did it all and this is my life. i accept the fact that i am sick, damaged, losing my mind but i have all of you, that can understand how i feel.
Today, i look forward to feeling the sun on my face, wathing the birds as they call their mates, watching a butterfly flying around if only for a brief glimpse. i feel the rain on my skin i know i am alive…i have an amazing sister who is my best friend and she has worke with az pts. She know what i am going through, that dosent mean we never argue but it means i still have enough breath in me to argue.When i see a rainbow i see myself reaching the other end and having my mother, brother, sister and Jesus all there to meet me , but not too soon, im almost 60 and i know my fate but the most important thing i can do is enjoy each day, the day Jesus gave me to fel the wind, the rain,listen to a stream and keep loving those closest to me…

Having this disease has changed me, i was a very hard person, never looked for beauty in anything, each day now i find something that amazes me………. to all my friends again this is the day the Lord made …enjoy one moment out of 24 hours
and you all wil be in my heart forever ..