ALL of them are excellent, but these are my four favorite excerpts from Harry Urban’s blog during last half of August 2015 (Part B).
Harry is one of my primary mentors, and the prime reason I take the time and energy to write my own blog, and the many hours I spend to share the writing of others.
Harry Urban August 22, 2015
When does a care partner say goodbye to the person they once knew and try to make friends with the person they are becoming? Saying goodbye means so many things to different people and doesn’t necessarily means a final farewell.
Being in denial and not realizing or not willing to admit someone is slipping away is a injustice to all parties involved. The person that is slipping away knows they are but feels that no one cares. They try their hardest to be the person you want them to be but they can’t because their dementia won’t let them
You get angry at them because you feel they are being indifferent but the fact is, they are drifting away from you and leaving you behind, You may think you are walking with them but the distance that is between you is increasing.
Say goodbye to the person you once knew and catch up and become a friend with this new person. They need you because there is no turning back for them. I can tell you that walking alone with no one that realizes your fate and trying to hang on to the person they once loved, and being in denial, will be left behind.
August 23, 2015
When I lose something is it because I misplaced it or do I not recognize it? I’m sitting at my computer and decide I would like to have another cup of coffee and don’t see my cup so naturally I think it is sitting beside my chair upstairs and go up there and don’t see it anywhere.
I must have left it out in the garage when I was out there doing some wood turning, of course it isn’t out there either. Getting frustrated because I can’t find my coffee cup, I just get another cup and chalk it up to another lost thing. I go back downstairs and sit down at my computer and reach over to put my cup on the coffee holder and there sits my empty cup.
I should have easily seen it but I believe I never recognized it as the object I was looking for. When I lose something I usually ask St. Anthony for help in finding it and I usually do find it. This is becoming more common with me in losing something that turns up right before my eyes and I now think my brain is confusing objects and telling me that I lost them.
August 29, 2015
You become a very strong person when you are living with dementia. You may appear to be frail and disoriented but beneath the service is someone fighting the battle of their life. Every second of our life we live with our disease and know relief will only come when we complete what we have to do in this life.
I am not afraid of death but I am afraid of not completing the things I was asked to do. We do not look strong because we do not need that type of strength, Our spirits are strong because we faced all the horrors that dementia threw at us. That strength will be carrying us on.
When I pass, the morning you will do will be for yourself and not me because I gained the strength to carry on. I love you and you me and I will be waiting for you. Take your time and complete what you need to do and gain the strength to be with me.
I knew this disease was going to rob me of my identity but what I didn’t realize is how long it might take. Call me lucky or understand how hard I wo…rk to keep what is mind. I stay active and have a purpose to continue on living. I don’t let my disease tell me what is going to happen because I find ways to live with the changes.
I have my pity parties and I just want to get it over with days but I also have the days when I am standing in front of my lathe and loving the life I have. I don’t give a hoot about my dementia, I don’t even care about the things I forgot or can’t do anymore. I do know I am doing my best to live within my dementia. You can too.
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