PWD Harry Urban Jan 2015

 Excerpts from my friend Harry Urban’s blog at

2015- Jan/25

I don’t scream because I can’t, I can’t cry because the tears don’t come. My Alzheimer’s won’t let me, so I keep them wrapped inside of me. My care partner lives the luxary of being able to do that. They can rant and vent about what this disease is doing to them but I have to suck it up because I no longer have that ability.

I go into my shell and try to protect myself from the things I can no longer express. I can no longer express the words that make me feel the way I do. I give the false impression that everything is ok but look into my eyes and you will be able to tell, they are not.

I’ve reached the point that there is no denying that I have dementia. I wish I would forget that I can no longer express myself the way I want to. I know what I want to say but can’t find the words to say it.

  Truthful Kindness wonderfully EXPRESSIVE words, Harry! Since your blog will not let me have specific page for each entry, would like to make page on my blog for this one. That will allow monthly newsletter PWD Perspective to pull it individually later this week. Is that okay with you, Harry UrbanJanuary 25 at 7:53am
 Harry Urban Sure Tru, go ahead.  January 25 at 7:54am
January 26, 2015My world is not as tidy as yours. It is chaotic and not as structured as yours. If you want to visit my world, please don’t try to straighten it up because I will get lost. Things tend to be a lot slower and less organized then what you may be used to.I love my world and I’m happy living here. I no longer get angry at what Alzheimer’s has taken from me and how miserable my life is supposed to be. When you visit, don’t get upset because I found happiness living with dementia.I no longer care what I can’t do because I found the joy in what I still have left and a purpose to do it. I wake up in the morning and I’m ready to go to “work”. It may be spreading dementia awareness, doing some woodworking or simply reading a book. I have found my inner peace so don’t come into my world and try to fix things, I am happy the way they are.January 28, 2015Sometimes you don’t need to speak to make me feel better, you just need to listen to what I’m saying. An act of compassion will do more then anything brilliant that comes out of your mouth. I may not need your wisdom but rather someone to listen and carry some of my burdens.

January 29, 2015

Lost in the fog of Alzheimer’s. Unless you have been touch by this disease, you may not have any idea what I’m talking about. I wake up many times wondering, who am I. I can’t remember my past or the people I once knew. It doesn’t happen over night but rather lets you know you are slowly forgetting.

That is my main problem with my disease, it lets me remember I forgot something. Not what I forgot but the fact I was once able to do that. I can’t shed tears over the things I lost because there is no memories to mourn.

Walking in the fog is lonely and there is no one to guide me, so I keep wandering praying I don’t fall off the path.

Above are excerpts from Harry’s blog at

* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. If interested in receiving notice of future blog postings there is a “follow” button in the upper left corner (MS Explorer) or lower right (Safari and Chrome). Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. — Full legal name on record. copyright on 2015-01/30 Registered & Protected

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