Excerpts from my friend Harry Urban’s blog at
I don’t scream because I can’t, I can’t cry because the tears don’t come. My Alzheimer’s won’t let me, so I keep them wrapped inside of me. My care partner lives the luxary of being able to do that. They can rant and vent about what this disease is doing to them but I have to suck it up because I no longer have that ability.
I go into my shell and try to protect myself from the things I can no longer express. I can no longer express the words that make me feel the way I do. I give the false impression that everything is ok but look into my eyes and you will be able to tell, they are not.
I’ve reached the point that there is no denying that I have dementia. I wish I would forget that I can no longer express myself the way I want to. I know what I want to say but can’t find the words to say it.
January 29, 2015
Lost in the fog of Alzheimer’s. Unless you have been touch by this disease, you may not have any idea what I’m talking about. I wake up many times wondering, who am I. I can’t remember my past or the people I once knew. It doesn’t happen over night but rather lets you know you are slowly forgetting.
That is my main problem with my disease, it lets me remember I forgot something. Not what I forgot but the fact I was once able to do that. I can’t shed tears over the things I lost because there is no memories to mourn.
Walking in the fog is lonely and there is no one to guide me, so I keep wandering praying I don’t fall off the path.
Above are excerpts from Harry’s blog at
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