Extremes

.From my friend Missy

I find myself saying “I wish I could just describe how my mind, thoughts, body feels” these days. I can’t, honestly, I just can’t. When I am trying to say something and in my mind I know exactly what I want to say, but my speech just doesn’t cooperate. My words start to stammer and jumble together. Is it my brain, is it my speech, is it a combination of both? I know one thing it most certainly is … Aggravating. But, here’s where it gets even better, the more aggravated, angry, and frustrated I get, the WORSE it gets.

How can one not get aggravated when things that should come so easily become so difficult?
How can I explain to others how debilitating this disease is?
How in just seconds you can go from so angry that you could rip a door off it’s hinge to so extremely sad that tears just roll down my face.
I saw a caregiver in another group ask if crying for no reason was a symptom. My reply was Yes. And, then there are posts about their loved ones being so mean. Is it just the disease they ask. My reply is Yes. People react to frustration in many different ways.

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I wish that I could describe how EXTREME everything is.
I find myself getting frustrated now because I know what I want to portray to you
but I cannot find the words.

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There is no in between.
I can’t smell ANYTHING. My sense of smell is gone completely.
I can only “taste” hot. I put taste in quotations as my neurologist says that it is not taste as much as a sensation.
If I can’t taste, I cannot smell and if I can’t smell I cannot taste.
What I lack in taste and smell I make up for in hearing.
I can’t take loud noises or the tv/radio very loud.
OK to be honest, when things are loud to me everyone around me can barely hear them.
My husband asks me repeatedly, is the tv/radio too loud. Most of the time yes but I know he is having to lean in to hear it.
I don’t get just a little bit agitated. I go from zero to sixty extremely quick.
As of today, I am still able to hold my tongue MOST of the time. But, I know that that will not always be the case.
I can just be sitting quietly and suddenly a wave of sadness can come and I begin to sob.
No reason,
other than dealing with this diagnosis I am blessed.

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I do NOT let Alzheimer’s consume me.
I WILL not let it consume me for as long as I am able to fight it off.
I write this blog to stimulate my brain and to maybe help others.
I hope that others like me can read one thing that I write and know that they are not alone.
I hope that a care giver might find insight in a post.
It may help them to understand what their loved one is dealing with who may not be able to say it.

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Stay Safe and Healthy Friends xoxo
Much Love … Learning Lessons and Finding Blessings💜 
— Missy on 02Apr2020, w/permission also on 02Apr2020.

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Missy’s FaceBook page is called “Head on My approach to Living Life with Alzheimer’s” at https://www.facebook.com/livingwithearlyonsetalzheimers/

Index for Missy’s pages in this blogSpace are at >> https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/missy/

Index for Links on Symptoms and Strategies at >> https://truthfulkindness.com/about/d-info/links-sx-strategies/

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.* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”.  If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry.  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** …  If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”.  Text Copyright © Missy Callahan on 02Apr2020, but i have put some things in bold font, and added row breaks for clarity. Dandelion in cracked mud Photo by Klimkin on PixaBay.  2hrs invested in copy/paste, graphic, etc, and posted here 18Mar2021, with final approval via FaceBook messenger on 18Mar2021.  Tags: alzheimers, anger, dementia, Missy, mood, person with dementia, PLwD, sound, symptoms, taste .. .  #dementia #mood .

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