Excerpt from Missy’s journal at www.facebook.com/livingwithearlyonsetalzheimers
It is real and it is ugly. You all know that I have no concept of time, month, date, or year. I cannot tell you when I felt it … BUT I have. I have had times that I would rather scream or literally throw a punch than hear a human voice. I have been in a restaurant and would have rather flipped the table than watch a loved one chew. Remember that this is someone that I would normally take a bullet for but at that moment I couldn’t stand to watch them eat. Have mercy Alzheimer’s really does suck!
Luckily I am still where I can somewhat most of the time control my reaction to these bursts of anger and aggression. I am still able to silence it to the point of being able to tolerate it and still know right from wrong.
Here is where it is about to get deep…
Ok caregivers your LO may not be able to reason and or block it out. Maybe in later stages we CHOOSE not to block it out. OUR response is the ONLY thing that we as Alzheimer’s patients have. It may not be the correct response BUT at least we are responding. We all know that it is not them(me). We all know that it is this dreaded disease eating away at our brains. But, this reasoning doesn’t make it any easier on either party.
Do I have the answer to how to cope with these outbursts? Nope sorry. BUT … I’m going to try to give some tips! 🥰
In a perfect world, you would be able to to remove your LO away from whatever is upsetting them. But, sadly we don’t live in a perfect world. And An Alzheimer’s brain makes no sense a lot of the time anyway.
Here is just my two cents… whether your LO can communicate their frustration or is non verbal…
First, take a deep breath and don’t get upset. We sense your frustration and it only heightens ours.
Assess our entire situation.
Is there noise? (Noise is a horrible thing and what may seem like a whisper to you may be a scream to me)
Is it a smell?
Is it something as simple as temperature of the room?
Is it just that they want some peace and quiet and alone time?
Is it a persons voice? Just the sound of some folks make me angry. Yep it could be that petty. It doesn’t take much of anything to get our mind reeling!
Ask ONCE (that is important) if you can do something to help. Then and this is even more important…
GIVE THEM TIME TO RESPOND.
Our brains are racing and when we are agitated speech is even more difficult. Don’t bombard us with 100 questions. We can’t process them all so you are just wasting breath and probably making us more agitated. Give us time to breathe … I’m speaking from experience
the agitation May go away as quick as it popped up.
And here is a thought… if we aren’t hurting ourselves or anyone else physically… LET US BE ANGRY.
If we hurt someone’s feelings … oh well it won’t be the first time and I’m certain that it won’t be the last. I had a friend who used to say Suck it up Buttercup.
Having an ALZ brain is not easy and no matter how much you may want to “fix” things for us… sometimes you just can’t. Hell if science can’t find a cure you aren’t expected to know it all.
And most important remember that although we have this dreaded disease … we are still human.
Much Love 💜💜💜 Learning Lessons and Finding Blessings
— Missy on Sunday 5 July 2020.
Above is excerpted with permission, from Missy’s journal at www.facebook.com/livingwithearlyonsetalzheimers . Approval via FB messenger 20200707.
Index for Missy’s pages in my blogsite >> https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/missy/
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