Usually if we say we want to go home it is because we need comfort of some type.
For almost all of us,
“Mommy” and/or “Home” are synonymous with comfort.
So YOU as care-partner need to become the detective
to find out what is uncomfortable in current situation,
because we probably cannot tell you.
- Remember, for us there is no such thing as “background” noise,
because our brain has lost the ability to prioritize sound.
So is there too much noise or movement
(both of which literally “scatters” our ability to focus and think)?
- For many of us, we are losing the ability to connect cause with effect,
so we may be hungry, cold, thirsty, or in pain
— without being able to connect those things in a cognitive way.
Wrote about this at Cause and Effect at https://truthfulkindness.com/2014/12/28/recent-disconnect-from-understanding-source-of-dissatisfaction/ ;
For ME putting up a “You are Home” picture would not be helpful. (probably partly because “home” means different things at different times).
If i am thinking of myself as a young mother, it was either Washington, Italy, or Oregon.
If i am younger than that, in my self-recognition, then it is undoubtedly one of several places in Oregon.
But part of wanting to go home is wanting the PEOPLE of “home”;
Daddy and Momma, Julie, Michelle, or Spencer
… and the ANIMALS and ACTIVITIES of home.
For Grammy, Mom put photos of everyone from many years ago (as well as current-time) on the fridge, and on the wall by the bathroom.
At our house, we now have a dedicated wall by the bathroom that my husband has posted a full-wall corkboard.
Doesn’t have many photos yet, but it has the menu from restaurant party when we announced our engagement 30yrs ago.
That wall will be my VISUAL assurance that i am “home”.
Audio assurance might be one or two of the songs in my “favorites” list
— depending on WHY they are favorites
(and that is why i think it is important to include the reasons songs or movies are listed in “favorites”).
For ME, living with wood heat most of my life,
the sight sound and smell of a fire means i am finally secure and at home.
If You are living with dementia,
it might be good to think of what elements make a place “home” for you?
If you are a Loved One,
then now is the time to start gathering those things,
and preparing for the time you hear the request
“i want to go home”.
Suggestions from Valerie Feurich (with Teepa Snow) at https://teepasnow.com/blog/how-to-calm-a-person-living-with-dementia-who-is-wanting-to-go-home/ ;
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