About Visits

.Tru here.

i would like to spend time with family and friends, but …

Needs to be mostly at my home, because “unfamiliar” places bring more symptoms and extra fatigue.

Needs to be only a few visitors at a time (3 or less for me with my current “normal”) because extra people moving around “scatter” my thoughts too much.

Covid: Since covid often hits those with dementia tremendously hard (over 25% of the covid deaths in UK were folks with dementia), probably need to set up agreed covid parameters for the visit.

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TIMING: 

Time-of-Day is an important aspect of visiting.  What are YOUR best hours for visiting??
… mine are in the morning, because later in the day my fatigue can make communication much more difficult; understanding words becomes more of a problem, as well as finding my own words to speak.
Personally, i always take a nap to extend my abilities, so 11am to 1pm will usually find me pretty sleepy also.

For ME, If inside the house, then needs to be short visit — no more than an hour at a time, with my current “normal”, unless extenuating circumstances.
Outdoors visits can be longer, if i have the option to disappear into an “alone” space for extended periods of time.

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Noise:

For ME, i need to have no other sounds going on in the room if indoors  — no music PLEASE if we want to talk.  No simultaneous conversations.
My brain has lost the ability to prioritize sound for what is important and what is not important.
There is no such thing as “background” noise.

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Dementia Awareness: 

Would be good if visitors could remember that dementia is brain failure, and Brain Failure is a progressive condition.  Each “normal” will decline with time to a “new normal”, and need changes on strategies that have worked in the past.
… This repeats over and over again as conditions change.

There are a few solid constants in life, but most aspects of life change with time; that is just how it is with life on earth.  Please learn a bit about dementia symptoms and strategies, so that i am not the only one trying to make adaptations.  Check out the Links at the bottom of this article.

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.  Recognizing Visitors:

My husband knows i mostly do not recognize the way he LOOKS (because i am looking for the younger man i married), but if he wears green pants and hat, then i am more likely to recognize him.

i do not recognize the way my sister Michelle LOOKS, but i recognize her voice.  If i am looking more uncertain of things then it would be a good idea for her to find an excuse to start singing “They Call the Wind Maria” — we sang that a lot.  ((smile))

Julie could remember aloud all our hours of washing and drying dishes, singing songs, and pretending we were “house fairies” to surprise Mom with a clean house.

in younger years, i mostly saw my Uncle with a cowboy hat on his head.  So i am more likely to recognize him now if he is wearing a cowboy hat.

That sort of thing will make our visit much more comfortable than me wondering every few minutes … who are these people again ??

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Communication

Would be very nice if visitors were aware of some of the communication challenges with dementia.
If others are aware of adaptation needs then it can help tremendously.
This is Part 1 of my “Communication” series >> https://truthfulkindness.com/2014/12/12/verbal-comprehension-strategies-1/ , with parts 2 and 3 listed at the base of article.

i especially crave touch in past few years, but with covid concerns that might not be an option … and i may need reminded of that factor.

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.Фото, Автор Mircliparta На Яндекс - Scrapbook Frame Png@seekpng.com..

Activities:

Always good if visit can have planned activities.

Inside Activities:  Eating is the usual indoor activity during visits, but if family we could review Family History topics.  Would love to make some photo books, but just have not found the time to do it.

For longer visit, can eat, then watch an old movie together ((nothing too violent or with intensely suspenseful music for long periods of time)) … then eat again.  Movie time, or music time, is not the time for communication, but since i need to eat every 2 hours then by the end of a movie it is time to eat again … and talk.

We could take photo during the visit, then clear the table and MAKE a page for photo binder.

Outside Activities:  Outside visits are especially nice if we are doing a project together like planting, clearing branches, picking up pine cones for craft project, moving chickens, etc.  Our fire pit is huge so lets have a hot-dog roast, and i even have some pork-free marshmallows !!!

.Large Roasting-marshmallows - Campfire S Mores Clip Art@seekpng.com.

Memory:

Yes, it is true that i may not remember your visit, but the feelings from your visit can remain for longer time.
When it has been a long time between visits, i FEEL more distant from that person;
i cannot tell you WHY, but i can tell you that that person just does not feel as much a part of my life.  ((That is another aspect that lack of TOUCH very strongly affects.))

It is also nice if there is some visible reminder of your visit — that item repeatedly reminds me that you were here.  — Daughter might leave hand-decorated note on microwave or fridge. ((smile)).

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E A Afef Cbeef Fb Df C - Heart Scrapbook Clipart@seekpng.com

LINKS:

non-PLwD: Teepa Snow has a YouTube series called “Making Visits Valuable” which i think is excellent.  at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUgPm8RMa48&list=PL2E2lPBsUeBjA1Utglo8q6yANAijEf8cX .

“Tommy’s Tips” at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/tommy-dunne/4visits-2020/ .

INDEX of Sx Links at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/d-info/links-sx-strategies/  (might check “activities”, “communication”, and “relationship” sections) ;

non-PLwD: DailyCaring at https://dailycaring.com/visiting-someone-with-alzheimers-dos-and-donts-for-visitors/ ;

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Butterfly On Flower Clipart - Dibujos De Flores Para Cuaderno@seekpng.com

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.* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”.  If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry.  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** …  If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”.  Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 11Apr2021, with 8hrs invested.  Cover picture by ArtyAngel on PixaBay. Фото, Автор Mircliparta На Яндекс – Scrapbook Frame Png at https://www.seekpng.com/ipng/u2t4o0o0y3o0w7a9_-mircliparta-scrapbook-frame-png/ .  Large Roasting-marshmallows Clip Art at https://www.seekpng.com/ipng/u2q8e6o0r5a9a9a9_large-roasting-marshmallows-campfire-s-mores-clip-art/ . .  E A Afef Cbeef Fb Df C – Heart Scrapbook Clipart at https://www.seekpng.com/ipng/u2q8e6u2r5y3w7e6_e-a-afef-cbeef-fb-df-c-heart/ .  and Butterfly on Flower ClipArt at https://www.seekpng.com/ipng/u2r5r5r5i1e6y3u2_butterfly-on-flower-clipart-dibujos-de-flores-para/ .  Tags, alzheimers, dementia, family, friends, person with dementia, PLwD, relationship, strategy, symptoms, visit

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Inflammation Communication and all tied up

.Posting this now instead of Sunday, because i have it in front of me, and my current abilities are just too fragile to be sure i will remember HOW to do it later.

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Tru here. i have inflammation in mouth (canker sores) finger, both legs, and in ear. 
No UTI, but i am tied tighter than a clock, and i expect these have something to do with my emotions that are out-of-control.

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My drive for providing kindness must have driven over to someone else’s house to park,
because i do not FEEL loving or kind. 
When asked to help, my first thought is to throw the item in their face, instead of “helping”.

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i am fed up with words;

words from folks whom i cannot understand (which is almost everyone)
and words that i cannot find, for what i want to say in reply.
NO, do not ask me to make this call, even tho it is something for ME ! 
i am past asking “please” … just DONT ask me to deal with verbal communication! 
dont dont DONT do it !!!

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NO, do not ask me to understand what you are trying to tell me “just one last time”;
i dont understand the sentences.
i dont understand the concept, and then you go trying to explain, so throwing other stuff on top of concept that i already do not understand !  
NO; do not use another illustration and expect me to co-relate two different things;
that requires keeping something in memory in order to compare it ,
… and it just “aint” happenin’ today !

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i am not stupid, but i feel like i must be stupid,
because i cannot understand others,
… and they cannot understand me
(because i cannot talk in a straight line — it goes all the way around Marshall’s barn in order to say the simplest thing). 
i cant do ANYTHING right.

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i love you and even now i want to please you. 
You are hurting and (like You) i want to make it “better”.

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i realize that i need to calm,
but No; i dont need to talk to other people. 
WORDS are emphatically the LAST thing i would like right now.
Since my tremors prevent use of sharp instruments (so i cannot cut kindling into tiny itsy-bitsy pieces) then
today i need to vent my feelings by writing, or maybe slamming several crayons all over a piece of index cardstock.
AFTER self-expression then maybe i can just curl up in a ball with my dog, or play with my “Silk” app and the soft calming music while i doodle.  >> https://truthfulkindness.com/about/life-other/arts-crafts/apps/silk/

If i had any energy at all, i would think about arranging some kind of “full-body punching-bag” like my dad had. 
… just something to PUNCH !!! 
((But unfortunately it would be likely to bounce right back, and knock me flat on my behind.)) LOL

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… However …  Today might be one of those days that YOU (as my care-partner) really NEED words. 
You might really need to be able to talk with someone who has some communication skills and some memory skills;
especially someone who might understand the family dynamics of today.

I’m sorry that i am being such a grump.

i DO love you,
and wish that i could do and be better for YOU. 
… but right now this is the best i can be.

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Next Day: Looking at sink but cannot find my wash cloth … oh look, it is rightt here.  That’s where it belongs, so why couldnt i find it? 
Looking at mug and wanting drink, but cannot remember what i do in order to get it that full.
… ugggh; gonna be a long day.

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LINKS:

Communication Part 1 of 3
by Truthful Kindness (Factors of Environment, Content, and Timing) at https://truthfulkindness.com/2014/12/12/verbal-comprehension-strategies-1/ ;

Christine Thelker re inflammation posted 05Apr2021 at https://chrissysjourney.com/2021/04/05/please-please-just-stop/ .

 

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.* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”.  If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry.  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** …  If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”.  Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 2Apr2021.  did not track timeinvested in either text or graphic.  Cover photo was by me on 30Mar2021.  Tags: alzheimers, anger, aphasia,  communication, dementia, frustration, infection, mood, person with dementia, PLwD, relationship, strategy, symptoms, words .

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March Pages

Pages added during March.

 !!  Remember, Links are in colored text, not the pictures  !!

Right-click on colored text and selecting “open in new tab”,
will allow you to return to this tab easily (at top of window) when you finish.
Remember, Links are in colored text, NOT the pictures.

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.  Admin Pages are below.

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Links about Dementia Communication at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/d-info/links-sx-strategies/dementia-communication/

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Art/App/Silk at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/life-other/arts-crafts/apps/silk/ ;

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Dementia Symptom Perspectives’ Pages:

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“Extremes” by Missy at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/missy/extremes/

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“Not Afraid” by Myrna Norman at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/myrna-norman/not-afraid/ ;

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Family History Pages:

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Kilroy-Duignan/ Irish Potato Famine at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/life-other/family-history-index/irish-potato-famine/ ;

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.* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”.  If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry.  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** …  If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”.  Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 31Mar2021.  i made Cover photo 27Mar2021, designed on look of folded paper.  Tags n/a

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Activities for Future Normal

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Tru here with some activities that i choose on days with lower abilities … which will probably then become activities for my next “future normal”.

If you are follower of my blog you probably have some insight in my CURRENT activities, which are largely dementia awareness, staying connected with my dementia friends, Dementia Mentors, care and training of animals, Arts/Crafts, writing blog, and strategizing how to fulfill tasks with limited abilities.
… but what about days when my abilities are lower-than my USUAL “normal” ??

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So these are my thoughts when asked about activities for Loved Ones with medium stages of dementia; more severe than my current “normal”.

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i am partial to Teepa Snow’s categories for activity;
Productive activity: “I am still here for a reason, and the reason matters” / helpful or meeting needs in family, friends, society, or environment.
Leisure activity: (fun/play in passive and active activities).
Self-Care activity: (body, care, transportation, exercise, etc).
Rest and Restoration activity: (sleep, spiritual, battery re-charge is highly influenced by introvert/extrovert preferences).

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. Activities i would probably NOT take part in are games and “toys”.
in my innermost being, i am driven to gather, change, then distribute.  … and for ME games and toys leave me completely disinterested.

.Games of various types may be enjoyed by many, but i have never enjoyed games, puzzles, or mystery stories.
i enjoy “people-watching” while other folks play a game, and participating in the conversation, but most games seem pointless to me.  If i actively participate in a game, it is probably because i felt my participation was needed in order for someone else to enjoy the game.

TOYS: These look like a fun “toy”  >>  https://www.getspeks.com/products/fleks-magnetic-silicone-building-set , but like Duplo Building blocks or other “toys”,
i personally would probably not be interested unless there were children around, as an effort to spend time together.  … Or “needs” of someone else, as in
“Could you please build something for me to take a photo of, because i want several examples when i give this gift to my nephew”.

Similar to playing with “toys” with children, i also find myself spending lots of time with DOG toys.  The little “Hero” (in contrast to my first “Hero” which was the Service Dog in picture above) gets a new toy monthly, and he is a very social animal, so very very much wanting human interaction with his toys.  Probably half the time is bringing the toy and wanting me to throw it or squeak it or in some way interact with him.  So i find myself spending lots of time playing with the dog.  His latest toy is here, which involves plenty of time with hide and seek, and put the hedgehogs in the log … and take them out.  >> https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01NBIY3ZE .

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SCHEDULING:  We often have the FEELING that we should be busy working on things and contributing to family welfare, so large calendar helps with what activities are on the schedule.  In our home, after breakfast we discuss the day’s coming events.  (We dont do it the night before, because then i spend the night thinking about tomorrow’s activities, and it impacts my ability to sleep.)  For ME, this activity is both self-care, (because it pertains to MY schedule) and Productive activity (because it is the merging of schedule for me and my HUSBAND).  i usually participate in joint project of changing bedding and folding laundry on Fridays.

You might even go to a craft store or stationery shop and pickup stick-on images for Doctor Appt, Shopping, etc that have PICTURES (because on bad days i have problems connecting words with meanings).  So dinner could be “taco Tuesday”, etc, or PICS of grandchildren for visit.  This activity of creating and maintaining calendar would be the above categories, but also bring in aspect of rest and restoration or Leisure activities for ME, because i always feel most alive when i am creating something.

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MENU:  We have not had time to implement this one yet, but would like to prepare a binder with recipes and PICTURES of dinner selections, so the person with dementia (me, LOL) can give some suggestions for foods i would like to eat this week.  if PICTURES of ingredients, then i could even gather supplies and have them ready on the countertop, for my husband to cook.  Since i have bad tremors, i do much better in kitchen if foods are pre-cut, and since Labels dont do much for me any more, it is much better if supplies are stored in clear containers — again, all too often words get in the way these days.

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MOBILITY:  Balance is often more problem on my “slow” days, but animal-needs are still a priority, so must use a walker to take the dog back and forth for potty outings, but need help for moving chickens.  This also provides some necessary physical movement.  Dog needs brushed, creating more physical activity.  Dog craves his ball-time as a TOGETHERNESS function, so there is more arm-activity.  Love the “exercises” Larry encourages with his mother at https://youtu.be/ndlZYZfaRWk .

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CREATIVITY:  For ME, creating is crucial for my well-being — that is when i feel most “alive”.
* …  On my “Bad” days one of my favorite activities is the art program called “Silk2” . it is ever-so-fun, and has soothing sounds that go along with it.  i use it with Apple Pencil 2 and iPad — especially in the last hour before bed.  This product would not interest me near so much except that it has a SAVE tool, so i can save and print the pictures created for use on cards, etc.  Silk app examples and instructions at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/life-other/arts-crafts/apps/silk/ ;

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* …  i like taking paper cut-outs (or making paper cut-outs with my Sizzix/Cricut) then composing them together to make cards for my loved ones.  it can consume much time getting ready for Valentine’s Day or a major holiday.  The easiest way is to use ready-made cards and envelopes.  A $20 set of over 100 cards is at this Link >> https://smile.amazon.com/Envelopes-Cardstock-Supplies-Invitations-Announcement/dp/B083J3RM98 .

Using collage-style, i enjoy making cards of card stock cut-outs, felt cut-outs, glitter cut-outs, feathers, stickers, tissue paper, etc … and maybe even some type of paint in background for the card;  i cut my own cut-outs with my Sizzix, but IF i did not have a Sizzix (or a Cricut) die-cut machine then i would probably invest in a few packs of card stock cut-outs like the $11 feminine package at https://www.amazon.com/Prima-Marketing-Ephemera-Cardstock-Pkg-Shapes/dp/B084GX3TP9 , and the package from Tim Holtz at https://www.amazon.com/Tim-Holtz-Idea-ology-Ephemera-TH93114/dp/B00IXWLWMM .  IF i did not have a Sizzix then i would probably also invest in some felt cut-outs and glitter cut-outs.  Then i have feathers, a few sparkly stick-on “jewels”, washi tape, and tissue paper to be randomly torn and used for background.  And personally, finger paint would be very frustrating for me in painting background, but i especially use Tim Holtz’ Distress Mini Ink called “Stormy Sky” (using small foam applicators) on cards or cardstock paper.  >>  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00L2PBY4I/ .

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* …  i also have a crochet tool that does not require remembering how many stitches; several sizes of “Loom Kits”, which allow me to have wonderfully cuddly warm yarn in my hands, and give ability to make stocking cap or other gifts.  But when my tremors are extra-severe then even the Loom can be very frustrating.  i do not see the brand i have in Amazon, but this set has high satisfaction rating >> https://www.amazon.com/Readaeer-Round-Knitting-Needle-Pompom/dp/B0182IQHYE .

* …  I have some just-right-for-ME coloring pictures selected and saved in digital file.  These can be printed on index stock, so that I can use my watercolor pencils on them, then experiment with wet paintbrush and water (to minimize staining of my clothing and anything else around me).  This is the brand of watercolor pencils that i bought >> https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078XGWPNL . This is a 12-min demo for use of watercolor pencils at >> https://youtu.be/y1VAxJf6VXw .

My friend Jennifer Bute uses RE-USABLE AquaPaints in her activity groups (product at https://relish-life.com/us/dementia-arts-and-crafts/aquapaints/  and video demo at https://youtu.be/1PH1SenYguY )

You might want to dedicate a box, or dresser-drawer with dividers, for craft and activity supplies to be stored in.  i have a box of craft projects specifically for days when my cognitive abilities are lower than my usual normal (whether from infection, extra fatigue, etc).

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READING / PICTURE BOOKS:  On days when i cannot read, then i like the old Ideals Publications with ONE short poem on each vintage-type picture, in magazine size format.  Examples of what they look like are here >> https://youtu.be/WSH8BeGAMmc .  Places you can purchase are at >>  https://www.etsy.com/market/ideals_magazines and https://www.thriftbooks.com/a/ideals-publications-inc/256590/ ;
If you want newer version of this idea, check out “Nana’s Books” at https://www.nanasbookseries.com/  .

But we can also CREATE picture books with our own FAVORITE poems, songs, etc, using collage material listed above in the “creativity” section, then assemble the pages in 3-hole binder.  Personally i would like to take a few of the selections from author Abraham Joshua Heschel’s anthology book “I Asked for Wonder”, and give them wonderful backgrounds.  i would also love to take some of the selections from the childCraft book “Poems of Early Childhood”, which we enjoyed as children – and as adults we read to our children when they were very young.  i would like to either scan, enlarge and print the poems in their wonderful vintage artwork, or create collage pages for them, as described above in the “creating” section.  … just have not found time to do it yet.

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GARDENING/Flower Arrangements:  i have a definite black thumb; i cannot tell when plants need water and when they dont, so either i drown them or they die of thirst.  Some plants do pretty good with that format — but i still seem to kill them.  So i can clean silk flowers and gather them for floral arrangements, or i have the “wild” Calla that grow abundantly beside the garage, which i can select for my Week-End arrangement on Rowena’s table.  (Rowena’s Round Table is an elegant carved piece that was involved in my first conscious memories as a child.)

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FILM:  i now have a hard time finding shows or movies that i enjoy. Even many of my old favorites dont work for me now because of violence or suspenseful music.  On days when even my repeat of familiar movies does not work, i enjoy scenery with soothing music.  Some of mine are Aquariums, Ocean, MusicMeditation, Forest Rays, and WaterFalls.  As a SAMPLE, My Favorite Films are listed at https://truthfulkindness.com/2017/01/17/favorite-films-why/ .  i want to make a binder with a large photo from each video that we have in our library — because hearing the name of the movie often does not trigger memories of the video like pictures do — then i can better find movies that i want to watch.

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MUSIC: Because the notes in the Pentatonic scale all harmonize with one another, there are no wrong notes.  When i am at lower abilities any musical instrument i “play” with must use a pentatonic scale.  i can no longer tune the harp that had strings removed for pentatonic scale, so … a few years ago my husband gifted me with a mini Hapi Drum.  i dont have finger strength to play only with fingers, but i enjoy using the small mallets.  professional sample is at https://youtu.be/aSQg-ff5exE .  The tone is similar to singing bowls or musical bells .  i do not try to play any specific “song” but just strike random notes — and i enjoy it.

As far as LISTENING to music i highly suggest listing favorites and being sure to include reasoning of WHY they are favorites.  Sample is at https://truthfulkindness.com/2015/08/25/music-is-connection-dementia-symptoms/ ;

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FAMILY HISTORY, Memory Box, Memory Book:  One of my biggest projects is Family History.  You might want to keep various types of books on recent history handy, and use them to trigger reminiscence.  Then jot down notes when person with dementia is talking about memories, or even better would be to turn on your iPhone video and record a short video.
i think it would be great TOGETHERNESS project to make a memory box or a few Memory Books.  This is 2-min vid on making a Memory Box or Memory book >> https://youtu.be/I8lYBhG6cCc . and https://youtu.be/dUwSm1RA2b8 .
i am trying to get my own Family Tree established on https://www.wikitree.com/ , where no membership is required.

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STUFFED ANIMALS: Need to re-arrange my stuffed-animals in the bedroom every day, in order to get out my clean sox and underwear.
Each stuffed animal is associated with memory of special Event.  That is MY version of doll therapy and a TACTILE memory box, LOL.

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LINKS:
General: Very much appreciate Teepa’s video at >> https://youtu.be/7Ek04qjT-xQ .  She also has “Brainy Day” vid at https://youtu.be/RsWsh6ONZ8w ;
… and i like the suggestions for adaptations of activities, and the  repeated need for understanding past history of person with dementia at video by Bayada Home HlthCare >>  https://youtu.be/AOgczF7BmsA ; Alz at https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/activities .  And I think in later stages i would enjoy some of the Montessori-style ideas >> https://youtu.be/0OgNmMk2CTI .

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.* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”.  If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry.  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** …  If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”.  Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 26Mar2021.  invested 16hrs on text; 3hrs 05Feb2021 and 4hrs 17Mar2021; then 3hrs 24Mar and 6hrs 26Mar.  Cover photo was taken of me and the first “Hero” at MacKericher Park.  Tags: activities, alzheimers, dementia, fun, middle, moderate, person with dementia, PLwD, stage, . .  #dementia #activities .

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Bath/Shower Needed

Tru here.

Personally i have lost smell sensors for body odor, (along with several other things).
My weekly tub is on the schedule immediately after nap, but if i delay husband will set up bath for me and have it waiting.

For most of us living with dementia i would suggest bath or shower first thing in the morning, or perhaps immediately after nap.
i suspect not late afternoon or evening.

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1.  ….. To folks without dementia it may not seem like bathing requires much Energy, but for most of us it is high cost for energy.  By evening we have little energy to deal with washing up (especially if we are dealing with any “sundowning” symptoms)
2.  …..  For most of us living with dementia, getting dressed is a big deal, so please dont ask me to remove clothes after i went to all that problem … then get dressed again after bath.

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My Mom always made it a “shower party” with Grammy, and they both went in with two-piece bathing suits, with lots of singing, “dancing” and backrubs (both to Grammy and from Grammy – because it is important that she be an active participant) along with Foot-rubs.

For ME, the feel of a shower is water ATTACKING me, so i will tub bathe as long as possible, but need assistance to and from tub (along with the grab bars at tub and both sides of toilet).

Rose Petals Hearts Transparent Png Clip Art Image - Heart With Rose Petals@seekpng.com

if this was My Mother, and she was having a hard time with idea of bathing,
i would suggest buying a gift of bubble bath (hopefully in a scent she has not lost receptors for yet)
and show her the rose petals i bought for a special gift
(to spread on the bubbles for wonderful visuals).
Heat the room before her arrival.
Take a photo of the special bath before your Mom gets in, so you can print the photo for future reminders of how wonderful tub time can be.
With the bubble bath (soap) she would not really NEED soap.  If she does use extra soap, make double-sure your Mom gets well-rinsed because we VERY often do not remember whether we have soaped or rinsed, and that can cause skin complications.

My husband also made a “tub table” (aka “tub tray”) to hold a plastic cup with my choice of drink, and create another layer of “celebration” to the weekly event.  He has also bought a rose in plastic bud Vase to sit beside the tub.  At times i have had candles at tub, but in later stages these would need to be the little electrical “candles”.

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Further suggestions in “hygiene” section of these Links >> https://truthfulkindness.com/about/d-info/links-sx-strategies/ .

Share This Image - Rose Petals Png Transparent@seekpng.com

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.* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”.  If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry.  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** …  If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”.  Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 21Mar2021.  6hrs invested in text, and made tub graphic several years ago.  Tags: alzheimers, bath, dementia, hygiene, person with dementia, PLwD, shower, tub, . .  #dementia #hygiene .

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MicroWave: My Cup Runneth Over

Tru here.

Husband and i agreed that i should not use the stove for about 8yrs now,
because i cannot remember to turn the flame off,
and i have a difficult time with which direction to turn the knob in order to turn flame down.
Dread the day i can no longer use the MicroWave.
Needing to ASK every hour or so to heat my drink … well i would probably just go without my protein drink
… which would trigger crash of blood sugar and need for 9-1-1.

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MicroWave: It is not surprising that I repeatedly over-heat food.  What makes it notable is my (repeating) rationale behind it.
I want to get my drink warm enough the first time.
So every time my thought is “what is the worst that could happen
— only that it burns my mouth if I am not careful … so I will be careful but I will make sure my drink gets hot enough”.

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Every time I forget that this is a repeating scenario.

AGAIN I set timer for extremely long and I forget that the fluid will boil out all over the microwave.
Sometimes there is no drink left in the cup.
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i also have a problem remembering NEED for heat protection, and HOW to use potholder in my hand.

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NO; please do not prevent my use of the microwave.

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Strategies: 

  • Now I have a painting from my daughter re-installed on microwave door, reminding me that “My Cup Runneth Over”.
    (i discovered that i had a picture from her before, but it fell off).
  • Cooking times chart taped to microwave; Includes time for initial prep of my drink in large mug (99seconds) , time for RE-heat (1minute if mostly full), 33 seconds for my oatmeal, and 17 seconds for a small chicken “sausage”. Those are the primary items that I heat in microwave.
  • Since I no longer remember how to use potholders, I have a silicone glove stationed right beside door of microwave, to remind me.

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LINKS:

Adapting by Jennifer Bute at https://vimeo.com/105022828 ;

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.* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”.  If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry.  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** …  If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”.  Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 14Mar2021.  Psa23:5b painting by my daughter Charlene Davis-Gipson 02Feb2021; .  Tags: alzheimers, dementia, drink, kitchen, microwave, person with dementia, PLwD, stove, strategy, symptoms.

to Go HOME

Tru here.

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Usually if we say we want to go home it is because we need comfort of some type.

For almost all of us,
“Mommy” and/or “Home” are synonymous with comfort.
So YOU as care-partner need to become the detective
to find out what is uncomfortable in current situation,
because we probably cannot tell you.

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  • Remember, for us there is no such thing as “background” noise,
    because our brain has lost the ability to prioritize sound.
    So is there too much noise or movement
    (both of which literally “scatters” our ability to focus and think)?
  • For many of us, we are losing the ability to connect cause with effect,
    so we may be hungry, cold, thirsty, or in pain
    — without being able to connect those things in a cognitive way.
    Wrote about this at Cause and Effect at https://truthfulkindness.com/2014/12/28/recent-disconnect-from-understanding-source-of-dissatisfaction/ ;

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For ME putting up a “You are Home” picture would not be helpful. (probably partly because “home” means different things at different times).
If i am thinking of myself as a young mother, it was either Washington, Italy, or Oregon.
If i am younger than that, in my self-recognition, then it is undoubtedly one of several places in Oregon. 

But part of wanting to go home is wanting the PEOPLE of “home”;
Daddy and Momma, Julie, Michelle, or Spencer
… and the ANIMALS and ACTIVITIES of home.  

For Grammy, Mom put photos of everyone from many years ago (as well as current-time) on the fridge, and on the wall by the bathroom.

. . .

 

 

 

At our house, we now have a dedicated wall by the bathroom that my husband has posted a full-wall corkboard.
Doesn’t have many photos yet, but it has the menu from restaurant party when we announced our engagement 30yrs ago.
That wall will be my VISUAL assurance that i am “home”.

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Audio assurance might be one or two of the songs in my “favorites” list
— depending on WHY they are favorites
(and that is why i think it is important to include the reasons songs or movies are listed in “favorites”). 

For ME, living with wood heat most of my life,
the sight sound and smell of a fire means i am finally secure and at home.

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If You are living with dementia,
it might be good to think of what elements make a place “home” for you?

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If you are a Loved One,
then now is the time to start gathering those things,
and preparing for the time you hear the request
“i want to go home”.

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LINKS:

Suggestions from Valerie Feurich (with Teepa Snow) at https://teepasnow.com/blog/how-to-calm-a-person-living-with-dementia-who-is-wanting-to-go-home/ ;

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.* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”.  If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry.  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** …  If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”.  Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 07Mar2021.  5hrs invested in text, plus 13hrs invested in graphic, LOL.  Tags: alzheimers, caregiver, comfort, dementia, home, person with dementia, PLwD, strategy, symptoms, to go home . .  #dementia #comfort .

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TP and Dementia

Tru here.

i have answered this question enough times that i decided to just make a page for it;

Why do folks with
mid-to-late stages of dementia
put their toilet paper everywhere EXCEPT for in the toilet?

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My most-probable-theory is that she is reverting to her youth,
when it is likely the toilet paper was burned instead of put in toilet.  

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In many cultures the toilet paper is not to go in the toilet (even current-day). 
Like my mother, it is possible that during her formative years she used an outHouse
(and in fact we used an outhouse during visits at my grandParent’s house until the late 1970s when a toilet was installed).

My grandfather insisted that he had been “Housebroken” as a youngster;
he thought it was terrifically gross to have a toilet too close to the living space,
let alone actually INSIDE the house.

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Even if they had an actual toilet in your mother’s formative years
Maybe her family had complications with toilet septic tank and needed to make sure it did not get too full.
or simply because the toilet-flushing mechanism was in a perpetual state of not-working when she was young.

Whatever the reason, these issues were common in previous generations …
and when she is having more cognitive problems (especially in afternoon and evening) …
then she is likely to revert to childhood patterns in her storage of toilet paper.

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i suspect that if i was care-partner, and we were dealing with this symptom in my home,
i would probably suggest one of those diaper pails beside the toilet,
with a simple easy-open lid (not the floor-pedal to open the lid). 
… but it would need to be a different color than floor, toilet, or any nearby walls
(otherwise it would “disappear” from her sight due to lack of depth-perception). 
Then husband would probably make a short shelf above it
to hold spare Toilet Paper,
so that the dispenser is visually associated with the toilet paper.

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A F B D Xl Png - Snow@seekpng.com

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Links:

Might check other Links in “hygiene” section of this page >> https://truthfulkindness.com/about/d-info/links-sx-strategies/ .

* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”.  If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry.  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** …  If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”.  Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 28Feb2021.  Photo for Featured graphic was taken by my son Brad Davis at my Grandparent’s house, which is now where my mother lives.  Tags: alzheimers, caregiver, dementia, hygiene, symptoms, toilet, toilet paper. .  #dementia #toiletpaper .

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Feb Pages

Pages added in February.

 !!  Remember, Links are in colored text, not the pictures  !!

Right-click on colored text and selecting “open in new tab”,
will allow you to return to this tab easily (at top of window) when you finish.
Remember, Links are in colored text, NOT the pictures.

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.  Admin Pages are below.

Affiliations/Dementia Chats at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/about-me/tlk-affiliations/dementia-chats/ ; 

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Links about Driving with Dementia at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/d-info/links-sx-strategies/driving/

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Dementia Symptom Perspectives’ Pages:

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Harry Urban/ a “White Flower” at  https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/harry-urban/wte-flwr/ ‎;

Susan Suchan on Advocacy at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/susan-suchan/advocacy/ ;

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Graphic is Simple version of my PaisleyHearts picture copyright Truthful Kindness on 04Feb2021. Posted 25Feb2021.

Repeat Questions

Tru here.  

My personal short-term VISUAL understanding is much much better than my VERBAL understanding (for words), so …

When I ask the same question multiple times,
then my husband makes the answer into a picture, and
puts that picture on my workdesk
so that every time I get distracted and look up … I see the answer.

In your case,
My husband probably would have made a “shopping list” on 3×5 card — with “curtains” in big letters with a DRAWING (because when scattered i understand pictures much better than words).
He would have asked me to hold the shopping list until we get to the store.
That would put the picture in front of me every time i thought of asking. (However, he would also add a couple other things like maybe “hooks” on the list so that it actually looked like a “real” list, so that i did not feel patronized).
He is creative like that ((smile)) 😃  

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General Communication Tips

a) My personal verbal short-term memory is severely impaired so don’t expect me to remember ANYTHING that you tell me (even for five minutes)!
b) Use shorter sentences than usual; with less extra phrases I am more likely to remember the subject, object, and verb in order to connect the sentence.  I am NOT stupid; I understand each word individually, but have difficulty connecting them as concepts.
c) Minimize descriptive monologues or conditional clauses.  (I may get the “if” part, but by the time you get to the “then” part I have lost the “if” entirely.)
d) Please wait short pause after each sentence for me to “compute” your words, then you can resume speaking for the next sentence.  The time necessary between sentences may change from day to day or even moment-to-moment (especially true with Lewy Body Dementia).

g) Really I am not purposely developing dementia in order to grow your “patience quotient” — it is just a side-benefit for all concerned.  ((big smile)) …  And the coup-de-gras; please allow me to interrupt if I raise my hand, because otherwise the thought will be forever lost.

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If I ask you the same question multiple times there is a good chance that for some reason the answer did not “register”. 
This may be because your answer did not address whatever concern caused the question to start with. 
You need to be a detective; look for something that maybe you did NOT answer earlier.  An example might be if the question is a matter of calendaring then maybe my concern is another event I think may conflict with this, and it might be helpful to visually compare the events on calendar.  … or i might be worried about something that is to occur during this scheduled event (doctor appointment).

If I asked a question and your answer was “I don’t know”,
then I can almost guarantee I will not remember your answer
so I suggest you just write it down now, BEFORE I ask you five times. 
LOL to my husband! 
How could you (the awesome answer man) NOT know the answer??  
— Of course that does not compute!!

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Vector Flores Png Clip Free Download - Arabesco Flor Png@seekpng.com

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. * Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”.  If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry.  Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** …  If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”.  Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 21Feb2021.  “General Communication Tips” were originally in entry at >>  https://truthfulkindness.com/2014/08/16/commun-early/, then invested an additional 8hrs on text. Featured graphic Red Stage Curtains graphic was created by Open ClipArt on PixaBay. Removed background and added several Layers of “Little Bird” font.  Tags: alzheimers, caregiver, communication, dementia, question, relationship, strategy.  #dementia #caregiver .

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