PWD Harry Urban on Relationships in October 2015

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Harry is one of my primary mentors, and the prime reason I take the time and energy to write my own blog, and the many hours I spend to share the writing of others.

Below are some excerpts from Harry’s blog on subject of Relationships during October 2015:

http://mythoughtsondementia.com/blog.html

October 13, 2015

It is ok if I wear my my rose colored glasses and pretend everything is perfectly right with the world. I’m allowed to escape Alzheimer’s and even if it is only for a short amount of time, feel good about myself. I don’t need to be penned up in my world,

I have the right to step outside of my world and dance in the tulips.

I may say some crazy things or do things that seem strange to you
but that is because I stepped back into your world and don’t know how to react there.   …

It is difficult trying to live in both worlds …

Tags: relationships, escape, perception, communication, perspective

 

October 13, 2015

The biggest and best gift you could ever give is time …
What would be nice is a half hour of your time to sit with me …
You don’t have to worry about saying anything
or filling in the silence that is bound to happen.
Just sit with me and let me know you care.

Tags: relationships, communication, gift

 

October 15, 2015

…  I believe in early diagnoses so you can not only prepare your family but also yourself.
A treatment plan can be made and a support foundation can be started.
We all lose people we know,
I don’t call them friends because a real friend will not abandon you because of your disease.
Please, talk to your doctor if you are showing any of the signs of dementia.

Tags: relationships, hiding, diagnosis,

 

October 18, 2015

Somewhere over the rainbow is a World without Dementia
and I am planning on living there.
Someday I will be there but not until I complete what is expected of me in this life.
We made progress in raising dementia awareness but so much more needs to be done,  …

Being dementia friendly is a start  but …

Death is not the only reason why we are separated from our loved ones,
the mental disconnect can be sometimes worse.
The emptiness we feel can last a lifetime.
I don’t stop to read about a miracle cure that is on the horizon,
I want to read about a better quality of life for those living with dementia.

Tags: spirituality, relationships, advocacy,

 

October 23, 2015

I am slowly forgetting the names of the people I love but …

You cannot assume
that my dementia has taken away my love for you
when it only prevents me from expressing it.

 I may not remember the good times
but will always know that you made me happy.

Tags: relationships, communication, names, symptoms

 

October 25, 2015

We all talk about the ‘Long Goodbye’ associated with dementia where we watch our loved ones slowly lose bits and pieces of their life. It could last for many years but there are those that never took the time to say good bye to the person they love.

Saying goodbye
does not mean that you have to speak those very words
but accepting the fact that your love one is
going someplace where you cannot go.

They are walking toward a better life and
not walking away from you.

We have to know that you will be ok after we are gone, and saying your goodbye helps us go in peace.

Tags: relationships, goodbye

 

October 30, 2015

One thing nice about having Alzheimer’s is, I don’t have to make sense. I’m not expected to spell things correctly because it is expected that I won’t. I am never invited to a debate because no one knows what might come out of my mouth.

When I start talking about something that no one knows what I’m talking about, it’s ok because I have dementia. When I do something dumb, I only have to pull out my “A” card and they understand.

This works on everyone except Hazel.
She never lets me play my Alzheimer’s card.

Tags: relationships, humor

 

October 31, 2015

Can you imagine what it is like to be alone, living with dementia.
Who do you seek for a hug when you get scared of what is happening to you.
So many are lost in this world and no one cares for them.
When I see someone like this,
a piece of me shatters into a thousand pieces
and I am not able to cry for them because I am all cried out.

I stop what I am doing and give them some of my time.
That is what they need the most,
someone to come into their world and sit with them for a while.
You think that you cannot make a difference
but for that one person, you are changing their world,
you are letting them know that someone does care.

Few ever to get to feel the emptiness we feel.
But if you ever get to touch that feeling,
you will be hooked on raising dementia awareness forever.
That is good because
you will be changing lives.

Tags: advocacy, fear, visit, relationships

 

 

*   *   *

(( Worth repeating about Communication with SELF ))

September 13, 2015

I’m going to sit right down and write myself a letter. In this letter I will write why I want to continue fighting my Alzheimer’s and what I need to do to stay out of the shadows of dementia. I will list the things that I refuse to let Alzheimer’s steal from me and what is keeping me alive. I will tell about the joys I have in life and remind myself that there is life after my diagnosis.

My letter will be kept where I can read it everyday and remind myself never to give up.  — Harry Urban

 

Above are excerpts with his permission, from Harry’s blog at
http://mythoughtsondementia.com/blog.html

Harry also has a group of both text and virtual support groups through “Forget Me Not”.  Website is at http://www.forgetmenot.support/

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