By my PWD friend Phyllis Cruden-Fehr on Dec 15, 2016:
I look in the mirror and what do I see. I see me, that is me. The same me I’ve always seen when I look in the mirror.
But wait is it really the same me. Is this what others see. I look like me or the me I was. You see I have changed not on the outside, not in who I am, not in what I believe. I haven’t changed in how I see the world.
You see I’ve changed in how my mind works.
The words, the words I use they don’t come easy, they become confused.
That word I want to use,
you know that word,
it won’t come to me now.
there I am, there in the mirror.
What did I come in here for,
I don’t know.
Well I’m in the bathroom looking in the mirror, I must be in here for something. Oh look here is a hairbrush, that must be it, I must have come in to brush my hair. But when I look in the mirror my hair is already brushed. No,no that is not what I’m in here for. This disease is making me confused at times. But I’m still me when I look in the mirror.
No wait that’s not my eyes.
Those eyes I see looking back at me are tired. My eyes aren’t tired, my eyes twinkle and are full of life. I am full of life. Look, look in the mirror that is me. The me others see. Look at my smile there it is, yes I am happy, I have a loving husband and a supportive family, yes I am happy. But wait that smile is drooping , my smile doesn’t droop. Is this a sign of that disease in my head, the one that is attacking my brain. The brain that does not always work the way I want it to. Can others see theses signs too.
Look in the mirror this is me.
How long will I still be me.
How long will I still see me.
How soon before I look in this mirror and the me won’t be there.
Phyllis’ index for blog pages is at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/pcf/thoughts-new-year/
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