Dbl Meaning; “All I want for Christmas…”

Below is Harry Urban’s blog entry of 29 November, 2015 and 2017.


It is so hard to shake the feeling of depression when you are living with dementia.
You try to do something and only make the matters worse.
You lose confidence in yourself and your ability to do the things you once did.

It’s ok and it doesn’t matter
doesn’t mean a thing to you
because you know you are losing the battle.

When someone tries to cheer you up you get angry because they don’t realize the lose you are feeling.

It may not be a big deal with them but to you, you know different.
They may tell you all the wonderful things you can still do,
but I think they are only masking the problem.

I lost another piece of my life.

I could take a “happy pill” that will dull the depression and give me the comfort to give into my disease or I could fight my way back.
You as my care partner cannot fix my problem and must show patience and understanding as I walk alone on the path.
You will be able to join me once I find my way back. – Harry Urban 2015-11/29 Tags: depressn, confidence, grief, abilities, relat, partnr

.*. ___ .*.

All I want for Christmas is you
has a double meaning when you are living with dementia.

When I say that,
I mean that I want to remember you and your name at Christmas.

We know things will change and the day will come when I forget you,
… not the love we shared but the person I see.

At times it is so hard to handle the things I know
because they will come true
and there is nothing I can do to prevent it.

My faith and the knowledge I am doing the right thing will help me
The day will come when I no longer need to carry this weight
and I will be forever in peace.

– Harry Urban 2015-11/29 Tags: gift, relat,


2017 Nov 29:  It was cold and crisp, but I … sit outside on my bench and give thanks.
… no pretending everything is ok,
just me opening my soul and asking for guidance.
… my fears come pouring out
… and ways to adapt and face them come flooding in
… I always believed in a higher power … It will be there to sooth my fears and help to guide my life.

.*. ___ .*.

Index for Harry’s pages in my blogsite >> https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/harry-urban/

Above are excerpted with permission, from Harry’s blog at

Harry also has a group of both text and virtual support groups through “Forget Me Not”. Website is at http://www.forgetmenot.support/

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Winner of “20-Best” Alz Blogs since 2015, including current year >> https://www.healthline.com/health/alzheimers-disease/best-blogs-of-the-year

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