Tru here. Before tentative diagnosis 2.5 years ago I had a longer “productive” life expectancy, in order to do all the things I wanted to get done. Now that expectancy of “productive” time has been compressed along with additional, dementia-oriented set of goals such as mentoring and advocacy that are now very important to me, so attempting to achieve much much more — in shorter realistic time frame.
At the same time, it takes longer to do even the little things like getting dressed or pouring cup of coffee. Increase of tremors plays a part, along with much longer thought process, constant distractions, (especially increase in sound distraction, even from husband and daughter speaking quietly on the other side of room, or grandchildren happily playing) and much much longer recovery period in order to get back to where I was in my project. Often, recovery is delayed by hours. It becomes easy to panic because these projects are important to me.
Constant frustration of goals requires my strong stubborn streak, in ability to exercise self-control and refuse temptation for anger backlash toward my loved ones. I have to constantly remind myself that this is about relationship with my loved ones, which has higher priority than any project. I know that self-control will be progressively reduced, as further effects from loss of filtering process. But I will stubbornly retain as much control over my own attitudes and actions for as long as possible.
One of the end results is sacrifice of my hour-long daily bath (except on Sunday — & I am writing this Sunday morning). I am just too busy to take daily time for this as an indulgence. In the old days bathtime was my time of highest creativity, whether with pen and paper or with art supplies. My ever-creative, romantic husband set me up with secure tub platform, glass of beverage, and project case to hold supplies. (I am writing from tub at this moment.) Now I mostly use computer tho. Saves time transposing. Saves time filing paper (which seem to never actually get filed so then efforts are lost). And, like I say, I am running out of time, so time is very high priority.
… But these tub moments sure are nice; decadently indulgent. 😀 — Tru
PS: Compensatory tools I use during bath time:
1) I have developed extreme dislike for sound of water falling into tub from faucet, so I use a hose to fill tub, thus avoiding that strong splashing sound.
2) I absolutely hate feeling of randomness from water hitting my skin in shower (it feels like an attack) yet adore immersing my body in the warm water of a tub.
3) I seem to never anticipate all my supply needs such as shampoo, towels, etc, so repeated trips to gather supplies extends time needed for bath. I need check-off sheet for supplies.
4) Once I get my hair wet, I also forget at what stage of shampoo I am; have I put on conditioner … did I rinse? I have gotten out of tub then realized there is no hair in tub or residue of suds; I never even put on the shampoo … I only got my hair wet! It is a problem because cannot use check-off sheet for that. Need to remove all papers once I start washing hair — otherwise they get all wet. Have considered some type of soap-crayons to write on tub.
5) Another problem is that I have an eczema-type scalp condition that requires topical treatment. My hair is now dramatically breaking off near roots, so assume I fried it too many times by neglecting to set timer for scalp medicine before rinse.
So goes life; new advance of problems brings need for new compensatory tools and techniques for work-around, in order to achieve maximum desired goals in minimum time. — same as everyone else!! 😀 — Tru (Signing off for real this time).
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Thank you again for sharing the most intimate of daily activities. Luxuriously soaking in the tub is a wonderful space to assist in generating thoughts! How clever of you to work around the challenges you face on a daily basis. Bless you for sharing your life and how to orchestrate through the challenges you face. You continue to teach and we are forever grateful! Praying for your peace within and patience.
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