Tru here. One of the things I admired most about Wendy Mitchell was her ability to describe changes that many of us sensed but struggled to put into words. In this 2016 blog entry, Wendy reflects on a change in memory that left her remembering far less of the details of conversations, yet much more of how people made her feel. Her observations resonated deeply with me, and I suspect they will resonate with many others as well. *** Wendy posted this 2016Jan07 at her blog https://whichmeamitoday.wordpress.com/2016/01/07/when-your-memory-lets-you-down/ .
One major change that I’ve noticed over the last few months is the way my mind compensates for its inability to remember detail…..
Details of conversation are few and far between. I can rarely remember the detail of conversations and instead may remember random snippets – often the least important detail!
The change has come in the feelings I’m left with after meeting people. I’ve always been a pretty good judge of character and have often sensed people’s mood, but now these feelings are heightened. I meet people now and minutes after they’ve gone, so has the conversation detail, but what I’m left with is an intense feeling of what I thought of that person and how they made me feel. I’m no stranger to the literature that states that we never lose our emotions, but it’s not until recently that the experience has been so intense and personally applicable to me. I sense an aura of emotion around people which may make you think I’ve lost the plot but it’s just how it is.
I also forget that I’ve met people but the instant I meet them again, I’m filled with the emotion of our last meeting. I appear to be able to sense people’s happiness, sadness, confusion, like never before. Obviously I tend to keep this knowledge to myself as I imagine it would freak people out if I started to ask people why they were sad or angry. However, I can see a time when I may just come out with the question – note to daughters and friends!
The brain is an amazing bit of kit, but mine is certainly trying to compensate in other ways. It’s come in handy to identify those people who don’t have my best interests at heart as I sense I don’t trust or like them and that feeling doesn’t desert me when I meet them again.
Very strange feeling but a very useful one that has come in very handy……..
***
About wendy7713: On the 31st July 2014 I was diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia. I may not have much of a short term memory anymore but that date is one I’ll never forget. I’m 58 years young, live happily alone in Yorkshire, have 2 daughters and I’m currently still in full time employment in the NHS. However, I’m now in the process of taking early retirement to give me a chance of enjoying life while I’m still me. I’ve started this blog to allow me, in the first instance, to write all my thoughts before they’re lost. If anyone chooses to follow my ramblings it will serve as a way of raising awareness on the lack of research into Alzheimer’s. It will hopefully convey the helplessness of those diagnosed with dementia, as there is no cure – the end is inevitable. However, I’m also hoping I can convey that, although we’ve been diagnosed, people like me still have a substantial contribution to make; we still have a sense of humour; we sill have feelings. I’m hoping to show the reality of trying to cope on a day to day basis with the ever-changing environment that dementia throws at those diagnosed with the condition. What I want is not sympathy. What I want is simply to raise awareness.
Wendy posted the above on 2016Jan07 at her blog https://whichmeamitoday.wordpress.com/2016/01/07/when-your-memory-lets-you-down/ .
Tru here. I have experienced something very similar over the years. Conversation details often disappear quickly, yet the emotional impression of a person or an interaction can remain surprisingly strong. Wendy’s ability to recognize, describe, and share these experiences has helped countless people living with dementia—and those who care about us—better understand the changes that are often difficult to explain.
My sincere thanks to Wendy for leaving such an enduring gift through her writing.
* Library Notes — This page is part of the Library – Voices of People Living with Dementia at TruthfulKindness.com. It has been prepared by Truthful Loving Kindness (Truthful Kindness) to help preserve pathways to the writings and lived experiences of people living with dementia. * Unless otherwise indicated, the words above are those of the original author. Copyright remains with the respective author or their estate. My introductory comments and editorial notes are Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness, 2026. * If you have comments about my page, please use the comment section below. Questions regarding the original author or original publication should be directed to the original source whenever possible. * Nothing in this page is intended as medical or legal advice. The purpose of this library is educational: to help preserve, organize, and share the lived experiences of people living with dementia. * . *** … If there is are advertisements on this page, I have no control over what is shown.
*** tags: dementia, emotion, lived experience, memory, person living with dementia, PLwD, relationships, Wendy Mitchell. *** Add to Pgs/WM index, S&S Categ: Memory, Relationships, invisible symptoms
