Tru here.
THOUGHTS:
Where is my legacy? What true difference have I made in the world?
… Did my ancestors feel this deep sense of failure?

WHAT is my legacy? From my parents and grandparents I inherited the values of unswerving honesty and deep kindness; … transparent loving-kindness, always while giving the glory to our Creator. Have I passed on those priorities to my children so that they in turn can pass them on to their children’s children, and continue the ripples from my ancestors who bequeathed them to me?

This requires careful analysis. (Of course it does; am I not my father’s daughter?)

Genealogy is somehow a step in that analysis. I started looking into genealogy last year, and decided that it was a waste of time and energy; what difference does genealogy make? But now … what difference does anything else make anyway?
Everyone is wrapped up in their own little time and space.
The lives of others are a distraction … or even worse; they are boring.
Spare time is spent watching entertaining movies or playing video games.
The history of their great grandparents doesn’t have anything to do with the history of their own person, so what real difference does it make in their own life?

How can my life experiences assist someone else? How can my life make a difference in the larger perspective? I have heard the answer of “Salvation is all that counts, so go out there and pull in the harvest of souls”. But that answer doesn’t match what I have learned from the original languages of scripture.

So I am going back to studying our genealogy. After I have gotten names and dates as far as possible, as a gift to our ancestors I will attempt to gather stories of their lives; their overcoming obstacles, their transparent loving-kindness. And then, as much as possible, I will tell the story of my own life, trying to put it into perspective with the lives of my ancestors and the lives of those around me.

Right now I will not worry about whether it is a waste of time and energy. I will not worry about whether it is boring to others or not, or whether it will impact the life of anyone else. I am doing it as a gift to my ancestors … and for myself.

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