?Are YOU My Husband?

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Tru here.

This happened during our month-long vacation to spend time with my mother and maternal extended family in June-July.  On the surface, primary purpose for trip was distributing “Independence” folders with stories of ancestors involved in US independence efforts in some way, but on a deeper level it was culmination of 6 months intense preparation for building family interest in order to find some younger family member to take over my 13 years of labor in Family History efforts.  So there was a lot going on, emotionally and physically.

Had been traveling 5 days so far, spending time at various places along the way.  Woke 4:30am on June 22 with nausea, vertigo, and disorientation.  I woke husband at 6:30am, explaining what was going on.  Since these have been my standard symptoms for what we theorize are the minor strokes showing on my MRI, my husband gave me an additional baby aspirin.  Thankfully, symptoms eased over the next hour.  We decided to change vacation plans, foregoing some of the travel activities in order to get closer to the hospital near my mother, in case I needed hospital care.

A few days later, when returning from restroom at small restaurant, I found the dining room was scattered with men, all sitting alone at separate tables.  I did not recognize any of them.  Recognizing my husband has been a morning problem for about two years now, but usually resolves as soon as he speaks to me.

It occurred to me that I felt like “Little Chicken” in the book, and maybe should walk up to each table asking, “Are you my husband?”  It was a very scary, ALONE feeling.


The first time a new symptom occurs it is usually extra scary and disorienting.  I have decided to get and self-train another Service Dog; this time a MEMORY Service Dog, to whom I can simply state, “Find Guy” or “Find Home”.

We returned from vacation mid-July, but I have had computer problems, then went tent camping with little grandsons and returned end of last week, so this is first chance I have had to write.

Newest struggle is similar to what some would call apathy (but I think I disagree).  Hope to write about it soon.
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7 thoughts on “?Are YOU My Husband?

  1. that does sound kind of scary. I have no idea how I would respond. and like you said the difficult one to handle is the first one. after that you can say, I’ve been there and move on. yesterday I walked into my bathroom (where I keep my vegi’s) and new I had a reason but had no idea of why I was there. went back to where I started and realized that I was looking for an onion. went back and got the onion!
    I look at my now minor deterioration not at what I can’t do but what can I still do. and your strength in all of this is inspiring! thank you


    • Thank you for responding, David. Yes; sometimes I feel between getting things out of sequence and forgetting what I was doing and why … it feels like the whole day is gone and NOTHING got done. Can be very discouraging. Good thing we have our peers. Are you familiar with the group “Dementia Mentors” ? — Tru


  2. I have not heard of dementia mentors. tonite I was at a book discussion group which I enjoy and enjoyed tonites. where else can you get together with other people on a Thursday evening and talk about ideas! however when I got up to go my legs did not want to respond to walking in the usual manner. was a little upsetting. I am coming to view my deterioration as part of the plan for removing david.(I am 73). and you know I am alright with the plan. as what I think of as coming from st john of the cross “all is well and all is well and all manner of thing is well” an this is well. take care tru



  3. Pingback: Choosing a Dementia Service-Assistance Dog | Truthful Loving Kindness

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