Tru here on 2019Feb06.
This month marks my 20th year since dementia symptoms became noticable. Symptoms have definitely progressed, but progressed slowly.
Newest development is that
Lately find myself impatient, angry,
and just hostile by the time evening comes
… even with my morning nap.
Relationship interactions, (whether written or verbal),
become much more work by late afternoon.
It’s hard. it is just plain HARD !
i think as my energy is further depleted during the day, i just dont have the energy to keep everything in perspective (and thus avoid so much frustration and anger). Keeping perspective requires REMEMBERING the context of whatever circumstances and people are involved in the interactions — and the context is always retreating. ugggh !!!
Written words have been a problem for quite a few years now. Understanding spoken words into concepts has become strong challenge for me in past year. Moving deeper to the underlying meaning, taking into consideration the experiences/context of speaker (or writer) … and then keeping all of that context in mind DURING the interactions; it all requires copious amounts of energy. Interactions are very important to me; relationships are what make life worth living … but for me, interactions also always cost energy, because i am a strong introvert. Lately toward late afternoon and evening i just dont have that energy. it seems my ability to understand (and to reflect unconditional love for each being sharing this universe) is beginning to have an expiration “time-of-day” (instead of an “expiration date”).
It is now 3pm and AGAIN … my symptoms are swinging.
Is it because over 600 persons with Dementia in social networks is just too many individuals for my introversion-energized self ? (i have thought of this & have eliminated listings of most folks who do not actually have dementia themselves, but cannot bear to sacrifice any friendships among those who share dementia symptoms.) Is this from intensive “thinking” work on too many social projects during morning and early afternoon ? Maybe partly because less sunshine outside, so should check levels for vitamin D ? Maybe fighting a flu bug ?? All worth consideration, but regardless of why these are showing up NOW, probably indicates future “new normal”, so i need to be thinking about strategies, and preparing to best LIVE with the new symptoms.
Particularly disturbing because every time my name is spoken i am reminded of the importance of Truthful Loving Kindness in all my interactions. this is absolutely crucial to me!!
THANKSgiving for patience of others, when our own patience disapears.
THANKSgiving for understanding of others, when our own understanding disapears.
… But tomorrow will be a new day
… if i can get some rest will have new energy.
I will think about strategies tomorrow (and remainder of week).
Another blog entry on the installment plan. (Almost all of them are, these days, LOL. )
Continue efforts at nap early enough to not interfere with night sleep.
Ask doctor to check vitamin D levels, and make every effort to get sunshine.
Maybe some of those bulbs that are “full spectrum”.
Limiting online connections (social networking like FaceBook) to mostly mornings and early afternoon, then do activities that are less relationship-intensive.
Praying husband finishes installation of woodstove soon; nothing says i have arrived “home” like the smell, sound, and sight of a wood fire.
* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. If interested in receiving notice of future blog postings, subscriptions are available through a “follow” button in the upper left corner (MS Explorer) or lower right (Safari, Mozilla Firefox and Chrome). If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness 2019Feb11. No idea on how many hrs invested on txt, but worked on it and/or graphic every day for 6 days. Graphic was sourced from Casey Horner on Unsplash. Tags are: dementia, fatigue, irritability, PLwD, strategy, sundowning, symptom.
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