… If she is quiet around others, but mumbling and grumbling (or moaning and groaning) around you,
my guess would be that it is because she is most closely attached to YOU !
There are degrees of transparency.
i consciously express positives;
i am always looking for positive aspects, blessings, and sources of gratitude.
i rarely express much negatives, but
… When my husband is around then i am much more likely to ALSO express the negatives of life.
Those expressions just come out of my mouth totally involuntarily (and surprise me).
Our PARTNERSHIP means he is part of me, and i am part of him.
(just as your mother is part of you – and you are part of her)
DISTRESS AND DISCOMFORT
Realize that some pain and discomfort are very VERY difficult to identify and/or put into words.
If you and doctor have not been able to come up with medical reason for uncomfortable sounds she is making, then you might want to look at her surroundings;
are there “background” sounds that might be intensifying her confusion and discomfort ?
((for us there is no such thing as “background” sound;
any sounds from TV, radio, etc often overpower emotional calm)) .
Does she get bright light or visual movement that might create discomfort ??
Are sore muscles or joints “flaring” ??
Maybe she has the beginnings of a UTI, … or even mouth pain ???
(i have known people who have had UTI or similar infections that masked even pain of cancer
– but still person with dementia was unable to recognize the neurological signals as “pain”.)
Sometimes i RECOGNIZE that i am uncomfortable or more confused, … then i can voice my discomfort.
But there are other times when i do not recognize that i am uncomfortable or more confused;
something is just WRONG … and i definitely do not know why.
But eventually i will see something;
i will see a mug, or a sandwich, or a blanket.
… and THEN i realize
i am thirsty,
or i am hungry,
or i am chilly.
— Our mind does not readily connect cause and effect any more.
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