I am from Truthful Loving Kindness

BMW TLK child 4in 300dpiLo

Tru here.  ((From birth to 50 years old, life prepared Belinda to live well with dementia diagnosis.))

I am from Truthful Loving Kindness

… from the snug haven of a home created with the anchor of G-d’s truth and the rose of parental love,
 inside a greater world of uncertainty, pain, and illusion.
I am from the look in Dad’s eyes as he sang
“Have I Told You Lately that I Love You” to my mother.
I am from the look in Mom’s eyes as she cared for him while he died.

I am from “The Chippewa Song”:
I am from a FATHER,
exhausted after long hours of working two full-time jobs,
suspending me over his toe-tips
while teaching me to dance the swing; 
I am from the fun of riding behind Dad in the motorcycle and sidecar, 
holding a warm, foil-wrapped baked potato in my lap. 
I am from working evenings at Coach Service,
fire-lit evenings with his harmonica, 
impromptu poems composed at bedtime,  … and morning coffee breaks. 
I am from the shock of seeing him after cancer surgery,
on a breathing machine with tubes coming out of his body; 
… from the knowledge that he probably would not live
until I reached the age of high school, 
… and then from the joy of having him at my graduation ceremony.

I am from “Beautiful Beautiful Brown Eyes”: 
I am from a MOTHER
in the housedress of unconditional love, 
dancing me to sleep when my tummy hurt. 
I am from the love that always had room in the house to care for
one more … child, 
or one more uncle, or one more great-grandmother. 
I am from marshmallow roasts,
sledding down the hill by the light of swinging lanterns, 
helping with homework, … and quiet good-night prayers. 
I am from the smell of homemade bread while warming myself
between the old wood cook stove and metal cabinets, 
… from the knowledge that she would always be there
to share my problems, if I would only let her, 
 … and then from the joy of learning HOW to better share my life
with her.

I am from lots of songs while washing dishes; 
I am from whispered girlish secrets in the dark,
and gales of giggling in the light, 
… from the look in Mom’s eyes the first Sunday that
there were only three children to dress for church,  
— instead of four.

I am from funeral songs: 
I am from the look in Dad’s eyes when
there were only two children, 
— instead of three, … and then … 
… from conversations regarding the process of death,
regarding the importance of family, 
regarding G-d, and what it might be like to live in Heaven.

I am from wedding songs: 
… from finding the truth of G-d’s love AND the rose of marital love, 
both inside a greater world of uncertainty, pain, and illusion. 
I am from the security I feel when I praise G-d,
and the answers when I pray. 
I am from the look in my husband’s eyes as he holds me up
and dances with me in the living room. 
I am from the smell of the ocean and the sound of the surf, 
…while watching him build our house with his own two hands.

I am from songs sung to my children:
… the Chippewa song, bedtime songs, songs when working,
and songs while hurting.
I am from songs to express joy in life and love.
I am from songs to keep my mind off pain.
I am from songs to keep perspective in G-d’s plan.

I am from facing pain, loss — and death — with truth AND dignity.
I am from facing love, joy — and life — with kindness AND honesty.

Truthful Loving Kindness
I hope I can pass it on to those around me. (2007-09/16)

((Wrote this five years before my dementia diagnosis, in honor of my legal name change to Truthful Loving Kindness on 50th birthday, 2007-09/16.  This is one of my reading choices when feeling discouraged with life as a dementia patient.))

* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. If interested in receiving notice of future blog postings there is a “follow” button in the upper left corner (MS Explorer) or lower right (Safari and Chrome). Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. — Full legal name Truthful Loving Kindness (Belinda Petrin-Burnett at time of copyright on 2007-09/16.
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