I am from Truthful Loving Kindness

Tru here.  ((From birth to 50 years old, life prepared Belinda to live well with dementia diagnosis.))

I am from Truthful Loving Kindness

… from the snug haven of a home created with the anchor of G-d’s truth and the rose of parental love,
 inside a greater world of uncertainty, pain, and illusion.
I am from the look in Dad’s eyes as he sang
“Have I Told You Lately that I Love You” to my mother.
I am from the look in Mom’s eyes as she cared for him while he died.

I am from “The Chippewa Song”:
I am from a FATHER,
exhausted after long hours of working two full-time jobs,
suspending me over his toe-tips
while teaching me to dance the swing; 
I am from the fun of riding behind Dad in the motorcycle and sidecar, 
holding a warm, foil-wrapped baked potato in my lap. 
I am from working evenings at Coach Service,
fire-lit evenings with his harmonica, 
impromptu poems composed at bedtime,  … and morning coffee breaks. 
I am from the shock of seeing him after cancer surgery,
on a breathing machine with tubes coming out of his body; 
… from the knowledge that he probably would not live
until I reached the age of high school, 
… and then from the joy of having him at my graduation ceremony.

I am from “Beautiful Beautiful Brown Eyes”: 
I am from a MOTHER
in the housedress of unconditional love, 
dancing me to sleep when my tummy hurt. 
I am from the love that always had room in the house to care for
one more … child, 
or one more uncle, or one more great-grandmother. 
I am from marshmallow roasts,
sledding down the hill by the light of swinging lanterns, 
helping with homework, … and quiet good-night prayers. 
I am from the smell of homemade bread while warming myself
between the old wood cook stove and metal cabinets, 
… from the knowledge that she would always be there
to share my problems, if I would only let her, 
 … and then from the joy of learning HOW to better share my life
with her.

I am from lots of songs while washing dishes; 
I am from whispered girlish secrets in the dark,
and gales of giggling in the light, 
… from the look in Mom’s eyes the first Sunday that
there were only three children to dress for church,  
— instead of four.

I am from funeral songs: 
I am from the look in Dad’s eyes when
there were only two children, 
— instead of three, … and then … 
… from conversations regarding the process of death,
regarding the importance of family, 
regarding G-d, and what it might be like to live in Heaven.

I am from wedding songs: 
… from finding the truth of G-d’s love AND the rose of marital love, 
both inside a greater world of uncertainty, pain, and illusion. 
I am from the security I feel when I praise G-d,
and the answers when I pray. 
I am from the look in my husband’s eyes as he holds me up
and dances with me in the living room. 
I am from the smell of the ocean and the sound of the surf, 
…while watching him build our house with his own two hands.

I am from songs sung to my children:
… the Chippewa song, bedtime songs, songs when working,
and songs while hurting.
I am from songs to express joy in life and love.
I am from songs to keep my mind off pain.
I am from songs to keep perspective in G-d’s plan.

I am from facing pain, loss — and death — with truth AND dignity.
I am from facing love, joy — and life — with kindness AND honesty.

Truthful Loving Kindness
I hope I can pass it on to those around me. (2007-09/16)

((Wrote this five years before my dementia diagnosis, in honor of my legal name change to Truthful Loving Kindness on 50th birthday, 2007-09/16.  This is one of my reading choices when feeling discouraged with life as a dementia patient.))

>> https://truthfulkindness.com/bnp/

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One thought on “I am from Truthful Loving Kindness

  1. Pingback: Music is Connection despite Dementia Symptoms | Truthful Loving Kindness

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