Walking in Tar Pit

Journal/Mobility Symptom:

Tru here.  Confusion and disorientation started out like heavy fog, making it difficult to see road signs.  That is about the time I lost my job (in 2000).  Then the cognitive fog got so dense that could not see road at all, in order to make sure driving on roadway.  Then about five years ago the mist became so thick that I needed to paddle in order to stay afloat.

Now instead of paddling in water, during the past few weeks it has felt more like a tar pit, constantly pulling my energy and making every movement extra difficult; not only mental but also physical movements.  Now needing assistance to move within the house, as well as walking outside of house.  Need service dog or walker to get to bathroom or my bed, or the desk.  Need nap every day now.  Fell badly.  Husband says it was about a week ago but i do not remember falling.

I remember my thumb was bright purple, but confused that still no sensations in the tip of it, and wrenched my knee.  With the extra time consumed from even MORE cognitive work-arounds that are needed lately, husband frustrated with so much of the only time i have left going to advocacy issues.

And unable to meet all my obligations lately, so gonna need to cut back further on what obligations i make.

Feel like i am letting everyone down, inside and out of the family.

Don’t feel like i am drowning yet  … just constant and unrelenting pull of mental and physical symptoms, dragging me down.  So gotta decrease expectations, increase strategies and put all aspects of life further into compound low gear.  ((I thought i was already in lowest gear, but maybe i can get some of my environment into lowest gear also, LOL)).

 

Thank you to those who have sent encouragement and positive wishes.  They are appreciated.  😀  — Tru


* Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. If interested in receiving notice of future blog postings, subscriptions are available through a “follow” button in the upper left corner (MS Explorer) or lower right (Safari, Mozilla Firefox and Chrome). If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. With the new terminology, my current diagnosis is Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. Text Copyright 2017-05/29.  Photo >>  http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/O3ZvHlNB4hw/hqdefault.jpg.  Tags are dementia, mobility, tar pit, relationships.

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8 thoughts on “Walking in Tar Pit

  1. Tru- As much as I appreciate all the work that you do to help people living with dementia I agree that you are overworking yourself, and it might be wise to back off a little bit. I am also starting to have some physical symptoms that shows my dementia is advancing as well. The violent shaking in my right hand which is controlled by medicine is another symptom of advancing dementia. While the prescribed medicine controls the shaking it knocks me out so that I just don’t have as much energy as I used to. Like you I will need to make some choices about which advocacy activities I continue. I know I will not discontinue the one on one mentoring that I do because it is so rewarding to see or hear the uplift in someone’s attitude as I share my feelings and encourage them to continue on in a positive direction. Best wishes to you Tru-

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Tru, I know we have discussed this before, but I’m going to say it again. . . the MOST important aspect of your life should be your family. In the long run – they are the ones that will give up the most and have to give you the most support. They deserve the best of you now – not the left-over remnants.

    Love & Laughter, Laurie A.Scherrer dementiadaze.com

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  3. you are not letting us down tru. quite the opposite. if you can do what you are doing and keep going it will keep me going if and when I get to that place. the 147 year old man who recently died in Indonesia said in his last days “accept your destiny”. accept yes. but he didn’t say give in to your destiny. and you aren’t! and I am so thankful that you are letting us know what the journey is like.
    thank you tru

    david

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The Guest House
    This being human is a guest house.
    Every morning a new arrival.
    A joy, a depression, a meanness,
    some momentary awareness comes
    as an unexpected visitor.
    Welcome and entertain them all!
    Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
    who violently sweep your house
    empty of its furniture,
    still treat each guest honorably.
    He may be clearing you out
    for some new delight.
    The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
    meet them at the door laughing,
    and invite them in.
    Be grateful for whoever comes,
    because each has been sent
    as a guide from beyond.

    Liked by 1 person

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