Tru here. Confusion and disorientation started out like heavy fog, making it difficult to see road signs. That is about the time I lost my job (in 2000). Then the cognitive fog got so dense that could not see road at all, in order to make sure driving on roadway. Then about five years ago the mist became so thick that I needed to paddle in order to stay afloat.
Now instead of paddling in water, during the past few weeks it has felt more like a tar pit, constantly pulling my energy and making every movement extra difficult; not only mental but also physical movements. Now needing assistance to move within the house, as well as walking outside of house. Need service dog or walker to get to bathroom or my bed, or the desk. Need nap every day now. Fell badly. Husband says it was about a week ago but i do not remember falling.
I remember my thumb was bright purple, but confused that still no sensations in the tip of it, and wrenched my knee. With the extra time consumed from even MORE cognitive work-arounds that are needed lately, husband frustrated with so much of the only time i have left going to advocacy issues.
And unable to meet all my obligations lately, so gonna need to cut back further on what obligations i make.
Feel like i am letting everyone down, inside and out of the family.
Don’t feel like i am drowning yet … just constant and unrelenting pull of mental and physical symptoms, dragging me down. So gotta decrease expectations, increase strategies and put all aspects of life further into compound low gear. ((I thought i was already in lowest gear, but maybe i can get some of my environment into lowest gear also, LOL)).
Thank you to those who have sent encouragement and positive wishes. They are appreciated. 😀 — Tru
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