Nightmares of Harry Urban

We talk a lot about what our life is like during the day time hours.  It is hard and sometimes frightening.  We struggle and get so confused.  Have you ever thought what our nights are like when you are sleeping?

That is when we walk through our Hell, all alone.  I have problems sleeping at night and my doctor explains I never go into a deep sleep, I sleep thinking I am awake, and my mind is racing out of control.  The only one walking with me is my nightmares.  My nightmares are different than most.

Yes they are scary but not from monsters or demons.  I could fight monsters or demons but not my nightmares.  They are just as fierce, if not more.  They attack my weaknesses through my emotions.  I am fighting myself from hopelessness and being lost with no purpose to live.

I am frightened to death when the time comes when I am not capable of raising awareness about my disease and become totally dependent on someone else.  Nothing else frightens me about Alzheimer’s, not even death.

My doctor tweaked my medications and added one to help me deal with my sleepless nights but I wonder if this is the beginning of my worst fears.  Will the medications I take to relieve me from my nightmares put me in the void I’m trying to avoid?  Could the cure be worse than the symptoms?  —  2014-09/05

 

Hallucinations:  The Dr. Jennifer Bute (GP) story has been told October 2012 http://globaldementiavoice.wordpress.com/2012/10/18/jennifer-from-somerset-uk/ and January 2013 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2269740/Jennifer-Bute-knew-dementia-So-did-tests-say-I-OK.html#axzz2JyPvu11a, along with her website http://gloriousopportunity.org/. In these she mentions experiencing various hallucinations before she began dementia medications.

When I asked about hallucinations, Jennifer offered the following information:
“I have really unpleasant olfactory hallucinations; I am frequently overwhelmed with bad smells. These can vary from turning round to see who is blowing cigarette smoke over me to scrubbing my shoes because I think I have trodden in something or wondering why no one else is bothered by blocked drains or open sewers. I was told recently by my family that a perfumer, or someone trying to compare perfume smells, might use the smell from freshly ground coffee to erase the earlier smell of another perfume and suggested I try it. So I did and to my amazement it worked but so far have only tried it when I am home. I need to find something to carry around with me perhaps I should obtain a bottle of smelling salts!” — Jennifer  — 2014-09/03 message

 

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