Tru here answering a question.
i would not TRY to reason with her on bad days.
… i dont suggest trying to reason with ME on bad days,
because it just makes me frustrated at myself since i cannot fully understand you,
and frustrated at YOU because you are not accepting me where i am at.
Instead it feels like you are trying to make me “better”
like i was before (and will never be again)
IF situation allows, suggest first a touch contact (such as hand-touch or a hug),
then distraction; a break in task.
Take some time to do something relaxing with her; perhaps coloring, or a few minutes of music, etc .
If she is a person that enjoys it, singing is wonderful.
Not only does singing involve rhythm and notes,
but using our voice to actively sing adds another important stress-reducer;
the need for deep breathing while singing triggers very beneficial stuff in the brain.
Three deep breaths can re-boot functions in the brain,
and give more positive feelings about life. …
After a song i would avoid more complicated topics, or even simple topics that require consecutive thought, or comparison-thought … probably for remainder of day.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Comparison requires more than one thing stay in my brain, while another is being compared.
Consecutive thought requires step 1,2,3 in thought process, which also requires more than one thing to stay in my brain. Both are getting difficult for me. When those types of thought are necessary, then having visual aids (ie pictures to illustrate what is said) is VERY helpful for me to grasp what is said.
It is very important that as many interactions as possible are ending on a positive note.
Use an enjoyable activity or engagement after stressful situation, in order to leave it as a positive.
Maybe it is just a cookie, cup of tea, or watching birds outside the window that emphasize a “high” note in the relationship/situation.
Remember, specific circumstances are rarely remembered,
but the feelings remain for quite a while.
Part 3 on Communication at https://truthfulkindness.com/2019/10/20/verbal-comprehension-strategies-3/ ;
Conversational Word-Sentences at https://truthfulkindness.com/2020/10/18/wordsentences/ ;
Bad Day indicators and suggestions at https://truthfulkindness.com/2018/04/09/bad-day-indicators-suggestions/ ;
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