Friends don’t Lie … but …

Posted on February 7, 2021 by Truthful Kindness

February is all about RELATIONSHIP, and Communication is crucial to relationship.

Tru here.
Truth is crucial to my relationships, (as you can imagine – given my name).
Many of my friends feel the same.
i think very often the person with dementia is not sure whether you are telling the truth or not,
but lying can create emotional barriers that were not there before.

i need to be able to trust you.
So please try to find a creative solution that does not require lying,
but also avoids the constant breaking-open of old grief.

Please Do not lie to me, but it is okay to VALIDATE then RE-DIRECT

Retired Dr Jennifer Bute suggests that when she time-travels and asks for her husband, care-providers are not to lie, but remind her using words like “… he was often away in Africa” … then encourage her to talk about special times with her husband.

From what i hear,
After a few minutes of talking about her husband, she is likely to remember that he has died on her own
without the huge traumatic element of surprise.

Naomi Feil is an American gerontologist who developed Validation therapy.

Please Do not lie to me, but it is okay to VALIDATE then RE-DIRECT . i have always been a “Daddy’s girl”. If i am asking where my father is, you might say “Fathers are so very important. i dont believe i have met your dad — could you tell me about him?”. “What are some of your favorite times with him?” … “He was a switchman for trains, do you have any special memories about those times?” “i heard your family taught ballroom dance, what was your favorite dance?” (it was the Latin dances like Samba and Tango, LOL). Then quickly re-focus to “Let’s see if we can find a picture”, or “what does it feel like to dance?” Maybe we can find some music.
i suspect that to successfully Re-Direct you will need to have a relationship with me that is thorough enough to understand what motivates me, and predict my most probable response. Personally, I very much want to supply needs for others, so if a new care-provider is arriving, I might suggest that you tell me “Emily would like to learn more about dementia, so she will be spending some time here this WEEK” (without mentioning any further time than that, unless it is a relief to me instead of stressor). Let me be a PARTNER in my care, as much as possible, and it would be great if “Emily” really IS interested in learning about dementia. — There are times that i have forgotten i have dementia symptoms, in which case she can be interested in learning something else that i have knowledge of — maybe Service Dogs, or card-making.
Then immediately distract me with other things, so that i do not dwell on the future.

Grief is a long process, and it is important to not skip a bit of it, but yet … if i have spent 10 minutes crying in grief on the issue today, then next time TODAY please say “i havent seen him in quite a while, but since we are waiting for him lets do this”. Tomorrow i may need to take another 10 minutes talking about him and crying, and if i ask about him, then please encourage me to talk about him again.

How do carers FIND OUT about another person, as foundation for relationship??
Finding out about ME can be done at these pages, — and might give some ideas for similar projects for others:

About Me at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/about-me/ ;

My Favorite Things at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/about-me/favorites/ ; and

Bits ‘n’ Pieces Memoirs at https://truthfulkindness.com/bnp/ ;

… and even Family History at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/life-other/family-history-index/ ;

Links:

Vid by Richard Taylor “Please Dont Lie to Me” at https://vimeo.com/95520334 ;

Retired Dr Jennifer Bute’s website at http://www.gloriousopportunity.org/ ;

not PLwD: Validation Therapy by Naomi Feil at https://youtu.be/ESqfW_kyZq8 ;

not PLwD: “Where is Joe” by Psychologist Amanda Mullen (with Teepa Snow project) at https://teepasnow.com/blog/where-is-joe-vital-tools-for-coping-with-sundowning/ ;

. * Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”. If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** … If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 07Feb2021. invested 7hrs on text, and over10hrs on graphic. Tags: alz, communication, dementia, distress, fib, persons living with dementia, PLwD, relationship, strategy, talk, therapeutic lie, truth.

Fear as Cause of Anger in dementia

Posted on January 31, 2021 by Truthful Kindness

Tru here answering a question:

i think FEAR is the source of much frustration and anger with beginning dementia symptoms. ((But i acknowledge that fear is not the cause of all anger in dementia — more for some than others)).

.
These can be some of the sources of fear.

Communication: Every time i think of something i want to contribute to conversation — by the time i get to say a word edgewise, that thought is gone. Right now i REMEMBER it is rude to interrupt, but in my efforts to continue relationship I FEAR that my filter will fail, and i will be rude to others. Also fear my filter will fail and i will spill secrets. So often my reaction is frustration and anger.
Control: Everything feels out-of-control — and especially out of “my” control.
((i think The more a person “needed” control of their environment before dementia hits, that creates stronger panic when things are out of their personal control — control has been a coping strategy to keep “sane”, and now it is gone)).
Employment: Many workers “fear” retirement, because it means we are no longer “producing”. When a person is forced out of employment due to a “dementia” diagnosis, the anxiety is ever-so-much more intense. We lose income. Usually we lose the friendships from workplace. We fade from social structure. We face crisis.
No Therapy or hope is given at point of diagnosis.
It feels like this is the end and we feel set adrift.
Dependency: We WILL lose our license to drive (or have already lost it), and driving in most cultures is associated with adulthood and independence.
it FEELS like our adulthood is now in question.
Our Abilities are decreasing, and we are becoming so ** bleeping** DEPENDANT on others and on circumstance. ((And what happens when those “others” have their own plans and needs??))
Finances: Usually, We have no income of our own; until Social Security or Retirement kick in, we have no “ownership” of funds to purchase what we might need …
or what we want to give to others. my condition of Social Security funds was that the funds must go to someone else, who will control the money.
((Our days of giving gifts as an individual –from “me”– are now gone, because it is actually someone else’s money)).
Anticipatory Panic: We hear the bleak outlook from caregivers about what other people with dementia do in middle-and-late stages, causing caregiver burden and suffering; and we picture ourselves being the cause of that suffering, in the future.
What can we do to prevent our loved ones feeling this suffering and BURDEN?
This can be a very strong source of panic and fear, triggering thoughts of suicide.

Add possible effects of stigma, and you can see how fear is almost a very reasonable response. — With Anger as a reasonable extension of fear (adrenalin says to escape or attack).

Strategies:

i think THE major contributing factor can be how each individual deals with GRIEF.
if he has not yet accepted diagnosis, begun the grieving process (which often involves ANGER) and decided to find the good in life that remains … then that is probably where he is now.
Wrote about this at https://truthfulkindness.com/2017/04/21/pwd-grieve2accept-dx-purpose/ ;

Finding peers with dementia can be a big step in dealing productively with grief adjustment, and there are many groups for persons living with dementia.
at young age, he can probably still text well, so there is “Living Healthy with Early Onset”, “Just for Early Onset”, etc.
For video chat, i am very partial to https://www.dementiamentors.org/ .

Personally i suggest avoiding too much contact in caregiver groups, because the constant talk of future (later-stage) symptoms can be very discouraging. We want to help, but must keep these things in BALANCE to avoid over-exposure to anticipatory grief which is dis-Abling.

i avoid focus on things over which i have no control (like politics and finances). i use journaling (whether text or pictures) to keep perspective that not ALL days are bad days — because fear can take over when i feel like time is running out, and all the good days are gone.

With these tools, it is much easier to deal with the grief in healthy ways. Remember neither of you are alone in this.

.LINKS on Anger and Fear:

Alzheimer’s Anger by Missy at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/missy/alzheimers-anger/ ;

Uncontrollable Fury by Harry Urban at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/harry-urban/uncontrollable-fury/ ;

Fear of being a burden by retired doctor David Hilfiker at https://www.agingcare.com/Articles/On-Being-a-Burden-186064.htm ;

Fear from Clinical outlook and “prognosis” by Susan Suchan at https://alzauthors.com/2017/02/14/meet-blogger-susan-suchan-this-disease-does-not-come-with-an-instruction-manual/ ;

Anger at interruption by Cindy Odell at https://ftdnoflowers.blogspot.com/2018/01/mood-swings-anger-and-frustration.html ;

Mike Belleville and Brian LeBlanc vid on anger, family, and relationships at https://youtu.be/psHl3gcnArU ;

1-hr “Dementia Chats” on Anger at https://youtu.be/7r1aD0CkgjY ;

. * Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”. If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** … If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 31Jan2021. invested more than 10hrs beginning 13Jan2021, but messd up and needed to copy/paste to new entry. Cat picture from FreePhotosArt on PixaBay. Tags: alzheimers, anger, communication, dementia, fear, persons living with dementia, PLwD, relationship, strategy, symptoms

January Pages

Posted on January 28, 2021 by Truthful Kindness

Thanks to Theresa Montgomery, Jennifer Bute, Janice Swink, and Harry Urban for allowing their projects to be included.

!! Remember, Links are on colored text, not the pictures !!

Right-click on colored text and selecting “open in new tab”,
will allow you to return to this tab easily (at top of window) when you finish.
Remember, Links are on colored text, NOT the pictures.

.—————————————————————————————–.

. Admin Pages are below.

Revision of “About my Blog” at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/blog-mailrm/ ;

Links about Driving with Dementia at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/d-info/links-sx-strategies/driving/ ;

..—————————————————————————————–.

Dementia Symptom Perspectives Pages:

“Joy” by Theresa Montgomery at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/theresa-montgomery/joy/ ; #dementia #inspiration #joy .

“Resource Reminders” by retired Dr Jennifer Bute at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/jennifer-bute/resource-reminders/ ; #dementia #reminders .

“Fan the Fire” by Janice Swink at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/pages-by-janice-swink/fan-fire/ ; #dementia #diagnosis #persistence .

Harry’s Apple Cart at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/harry-urban/apple-cart/ ; #dementia #persistence #control .

..—————————————————————————————–.

Family History Pages:

Petrin/Operation Greenhouse at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/life-other/family-history-index/rap-grnhs/ ;

. * Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”. If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** … If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 28Jan2021. January SnowFlake “embroidered-Look” graphic begun 15Jan2021 and finished 26Jan2021. Tags:

When Confusion Overwhelms Communication

Posted on January 23, 2021 by Truthful Kindness

Tru here answering a question.

i would not TRY to reason with her on bad days.

.
… i dont suggest trying to reason with ME on bad days,
because it just makes me frustrated at myself since i cannot fully understand you,
and frustrated at YOU because you are not accepting me where i am at.

Instead it feels like you are trying to make me “better”
like i was before (and will never be again)

IF situation allows, suggest first a touch contact (such as hand-touch or a hug),
then distraction; a break in task.
Take some time to do something relaxing with her; perhaps coloring, or a few minutes of music, etc .

If she is a person that enjoys it, singing is wonderful.
Not only does singing involve rhythm and notes,
but using our voice to actively sing adds another important stress-reducer;
the need for deep breathing while singing triggers very beneficial stuff in the brain.
Three deep breaths can re-boot functions in the brain,
and give more positive feelings about life. …

After a song i would avoid more complicated topics, or even simple topics that require consecutive thought, or comparison-thought … probably for remainder of day.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Comparison requires more than one thing stay in my brain, while another is being compared.
Consecutive thought requires step 1,2,3 in thought process, which also requires more than one thing to stay in my brain. Both are getting difficult for me. When those types of thought are necessary, then having visual aids (ie pictures to illustrate what is said) is VERY helpful for me to grasp what is said.

It is very important that as many interactions as possible are ending on a positive note.
Use an enjoyable activity or engagement after stressful situation, in order to leave it as a positive.
Maybe it is just a cookie, cup of tea, or watching birds outside the window that emphasize a “high” note in the relationship/situation.

Remember, specific circumstances are rarely remembered,
but the feelings remain for quite a while.

COMMUNICATION Links:

Part 3 on Communication at https://truthfulkindness.com/2019/10/20/verbal-comprehension-strategies-3/ ;

Conversational Word-Sentences at https://truthfulkindness.com/2020/10/18/wordsentences/ ;

Bad Day indicators and suggestions at https://truthfulkindness.com/2018/04/09/bad-day-indicators-suggestions/ ;

. * Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”. If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** … If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 24Jan2021. invested 6hrs. Bird picture copyright by aitoff on PixaBay. Tags: alzheimers, communication, comparison, consecutive, dementia, persons living with dementia, PLwD, relationship, strategy, symptom, talk

if you missed in 2020

Posted on January 17, 2021 by Truthful Kindness

These were the most popular 2020 entries in my blogspace:

THANKS to contributing authors KimJoy, Missy, and Harry.

!! Remember, Links are on colored text, not the pictures !!

Hallucination Types at https://truthfulkindness.com/2020/01/26/hallucination-types/ ;

Mask = no communication or identification at https://truthfulkindness.com/2020/08/16/mask-communication-id/ ;

Dementia Mentors in our words at https://truthfulkindness.com/2020/09/27/dm-our-words/ ;

“A Pot and Dementia” (by KimJoy Ovard) at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/kimjoy-ovard/pot-dementia/ ;

Complex Nocturnal Hallucinations at https://truthfulkindness.com/2020/06/18/complex-nocturnal-hallucinations/ ;

“MeltDown” (by Missy) at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/missy/meltdown/ ;

Awareness of Cognitive Decline at https://truthfulkindness.com/2020/11/06/cognitive-decline/ ;

Links for Symptoms and Strategies at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/d-info/links-sx-strategies/ ;

Dementia Friends (by Maureen Kessler) at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/maureen-kessler/d-frnds/ ;

Constant Fog (by Harry Urban) at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/harry-urban/constant-fog/ ;

… and a few Family History entries .

Posted with Tags.

January Sag

Posted on January 10, 2021 by Truthful Kindness

Tru here.

For most folks (not just those of us with dementia symptoms),
now that the glitz and glitter of holidays have faded,
our spirits have a tendency to sadly sag in these weeks of January.

How do these post-holiday emotions especially effect Persons Living with Dementia (PLwD) ?? What strategies can/do we use??

This is what 20 of my PLwD friends had to say: (alpha-order by given name). i added bold font to strategies, and added some line breaks for clarity.

.Spend time in nature:

“I feed the deer and birds every day.
My mom and aunt both died from Alzheimer’s So that is what it is.”
— Bob Fite on 31Dec2020.

.Search for the Joy in each day:

“I try to find joy in each day, in small ways.
Even if just looking at old photos,
reading something for fun,
being outdoors,
eating something good.”
— Cathy Fisher on 31Dec2020.

.HOPE:

“2020 has made it easy to believe a better year is to come…
a year of hope for a cure!”
— Cindy Odell on 01Jan2021.

.Don’t Worry:

Don’t worry about what people think of you… You’ll forget about them soon enough!
— Daryl Lees on 03Jan2021.

.Breathe with Focus:

“It has it made me sad
has made me very very anxious and my mind is racing.
I have had to medicate a few times and also
practice my breathing and
meditation.
The world is too crazy for me right now.”
— Donna McKay O’Connor on 31Dec2020.

.Engage with Kindred spirits:

“The Holiday season is winding down and what is in store for me.
I will be thrown back into the world of dementia and all it’s sufferings.
Over the Holidays I was able to
make some contacts with people that share my dreams and
make some plans for the future.
We all agree that programs need to be formed to help us live out our lives in the comforts of our homes.
Our care partners need to know how to better care for us and learn about the benefits that are unknown.”
— Harry Urban 26Dec2018

.Define the challenge:

“… having had cancer my I say had I dont need covid
I have had Dementia 9 years now and im killing it
but with this pandemic its made it worse
just like Dementia and cancer ill kick its ass always’ xxx.”
— Janice Crich on 31Dec2020.

.This too shall pass:

“I TRY TO REMEMBER “THIS TOO SHALL PASS!”
— Joyce Stevens Mullins on 31Dec2020,

.Simplify my Life:

“I have always focused on cleaning and organizing in the new year.
Though the projects are not as big and not always complete last few years I still feel like tackling it this year.
Plan to limit it to clearing out a pantry and organizing a craft area this year.”
— Judy Rogers Brinkley on 31Dec2020.

.Focus on a positive activity:

“I’ve had some devastating diagnoses this year, and I don’t know how much more I can take.

We hardly decorated for Christmas until this year. I decked the halls, found a tree in the basement and dolled it up, lights outside. For the first time in years, we exchanged gifts. It was a sweet few days.
The decorations are down now and I’ve started giving things away.

I feel like I’m nesting for the last time. No depression – as a matter of fact, it’s liberating.”
— Julia Riley Kupas on 31Dec2020.

.Cherish the Moments:

“It has become abundantly clear to me that for me to continue to find joy in my life, that
I can’t focus on my future (which looks pretty dismal),
but instead focus on the present.
I need to be present and enjoy every day, every minute that I have of good cognition.
I need to cherish the moments I have with my friends and family, the memories I have of days gone by, and the music that fills my life.
Tomorrow is not promised for anyone. Some people are more likely to live longer healthier lives than I am, but I still have a lot of living left to do, and a lot of love to give to family and friends.”
— Kelly (B) on 30Dec2020 at https://kellysalzheimerasblog.net/2020/12/30/looking-forward-to-2021-despite-alzheimers/ .

.Get out – Get active:

Honestly I’m relieved the holidays r over;
I don’t have good memories around any of them- past or even recent past- in prior yrs I just wrk thru them- but I don’t have the distraction of wrkng outside the hm now…
what helps is enjoying fresh air outside & doing dome kind of physical activity/movement every day.
— Lisa Schweiter on 02Jan2021.

.Take time for ME:

“I take time for me
take a tiny nap
watch tv
walk
work on my book
read
look at pictures of my grandkids
and just glad I am having a semi good day.”
— Marilyn Augustin on 31Dec2020.

. I don’t always HAVE to be in Control:

“I’m hopeful that 2021 is a new beginning.
I’m feeling rather frustrated with knowing who to trust or confide in.
Who has my back? It’s just a feeling.
But I’m confident that God is in control.
I just have to remind myself I cant make everyone feel the same way I do.”
— Marion James on 31Dec2020.

.Accept Strength from Others:

“Stress and depression over my illness and the whole covid/political coughbullshitcough has made this a rough year.
My family and my faith in the Christ is what helps me hold it together.
Gods will is God’s will.
My wife is my unwavering rock and my youngest son has just been so supportive.”
— Mike Holland on 31Dec2020.

.Be Available and Willing to Reach Out:

“Ok, so as a start,
just to say will be working at Full throttle from Next Monday January 4th 2021
so if anybody across the world would like to talk via ZOOM re dementia
i am here for you, please let me know,
just got that feeling it’s going to be a great year xxxxxxx.”
— Norman MacNamara on 01Jan2021.

.Look for the Bigger Perspective:

By the end of 2020, I was not meditating and deep breathing as much as thru out the year and was doing fewer days of good exercising each week and I was eating sugar and carbohydrates with both hands.
I was allowing too many projects at one time experiencing too much self imposed stress and worst of all by the end of the year I was spending less time with God each day. .

I love and strive on simple after so many years of damaging stress.
I am already taking a few steps back to allow me to enjoy many more long moments of Joy each day and savoring them more. All that works to make this the best season of my 80 years.
— Robert Jenkins on 03Jan2021.

.Share and Encourage:

I must admit 2021 was one of the most vigorous work outs of living with this disease like every day trying to maintain… throw in some unforeseen things too. Oh my… but
whenever I feel myself about to take a dive,…especially when the last death was one of my grandboys (dog) that was a blow because they walked with me each day..and like talking buddies or talking kids that could not talk… but they were always there right by my side
but in summary I had to
share my tears get it all out and zap back into a happy state of mind By
being grateful …that I’m still alive and I can still write..my
writing and uplifting others keeps me grounded and
allow the sorrow in me to washout
..listening to music and singing helps me too .
— Terry Montgomery on 03Jan2021.

.Focus on the Basics:

“I take extra time to have Me-Time.
To surround myself with simple things I love – TV / book catch up – walking on the beach with the dogs / literally taking time to smell the roses and other flowers.

I focus back on the basics – hydration – medications on time and enough – stop the sugar snacking and the other six white and wheat / soya which I’m moderately allergic too. I always stay up for Sydney’s spectacular NYE fireworks but not last night – I needed extra restorative sleep

Enjoying the cards and phone calls but trying not to angst over those I didn’t get
– bloody isolating dementia.

Deliberately slowing my mind / my rushing and resting.
Between Xmas and New Year is REST time before all the frenetic Dementia Advocacy via Zoom starts again. Hugs

”
— Valerie Schache on 31Dec2020.

.Develop strategies for consistency and stability:

I love the holiday period over Christmas and the new year.
obviously, it was so much better when i had children around and also better before this year when able to share with others in person rather than just online but i made the most of it and had good shared times on video with friends far and near.
But dementia symptoms and the huge need for consistency and stability get destroyed by all usual patterns being disrupted for special days and times.
it is draining so a welcome relief when January is underway properly by the second week and schedules return to usual!
— Wayne Eaton on 02Jan2021.

So in summary, some suggestions from above are

Spend time in nature, Search for the Joy in each day, Hope, Don’t worry, Breathe with Focus, Engage with Kindred spirits, Define the challenge, Remember this too shall pass, Simplify my life, Focus on a positive activity, Cherish the moments, Get out – Get active, Take time for ME, I don’t have to be in Control, Accept strength from Others, Be Available and willing to Reach Out, Look for the Bigger Perspective, Share and Encourage, Focus on the Basics, Develop strategies for consistency and stability.

… GREAT ideas from Persons Living with Dementia.
This is better than any self-help book, and it came from US !!! ((smile))

Pages from Other Persons with Dementia on my webspace are indexed here >> https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/ .

. * Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”. If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** … If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. Copyright © by each speaker, but i added bold font to strategies, and added some line breaks for clarity. with permission to share found either on my personal FaceBook profile (post/10224254986660899), LHEO (permalink/2185120661632562/), Just4ppl (permalink/1879304272232984), or in PM Messenger. Posted on 10Jan2021. Tags: alzheimers, dementia, holiday, January, persons living with dementia, PLwD, seasons, strategy, stress, symptom, therapy

Bib-Collar as Strategy

Posted on January 3, 2021 by Truthful Kindness

Tru here.

Summary:
It is that time again; during fall, winter, and spring you will often see me wearing a crochet collar.
These have two purposes;
1) Bib to prevent staining of my shirt, and
2) a little bit of warmth on shoulders and chest.

Detail:
My depth perception and distance calculations are distorted.
It seems lately i must have a “hole in my lip”, thru which foods, drinks, and my prescriptions fall. This creates stains on my clothing almost every time i eat, so i have been working on some strategies.
… A] Eating more “finger foods”.
… B] use fork more often than a spoon now, so that i can “stab” the food.
… C] use insulated mug with lid that does not leak.
… D] For prescriptions, dog now watches when i take meds, to show me where it dropped ((without dog eating the pill — PLEASE see the training Link attached)).
… E] i made some bib-collars that have replaceable inserts over the area where food is most frequently dropped.

… . … These collars are crochet
(altho i have been trying to figure out design for bib-collars in fabric for warm weather).

I crochet a circle large enough to BARELY go around my head (because it will stretch length).
Then i simply add rows of whatever stitches feel good, until i cover the top part of my chest — where i drip food and drinks.

i have several black triangle-shaped crochet pieces, which are replaceable inserts for center of necklace-collar. ((i connect them with tiny hair “octopus” clips, so they are easily changed.))
Black is my most frequent color of shirt and pant, because blacks are most easy to closely match each other, without off-shades producing a “clashing” color. So right now almost all my inserts are black to match my shirts. — then color is added with bib-collar and accessories.
Right now i have collars in 5 colors, along with the multi-color collar i made to start with.

That is current strategy for ME
… what do YOU do to compensate for this problem?

((One suggestion was simply “wear tie-dye”. LOL)).

This was my first collar — before i thought of making replaceable insert.

LINKS:

Adaptations for Dressing at https://truthfulkindness.com/2019/01/07/adaptations-dressing/ .

SrvDog Trng for “Pill Watch” task at https://truthfulkindness.com/2020/08/02/servicedog-training-for-pill-watch-task/ .

. * Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”. If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** … If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 03Jan2021. Tags: alzheimers, bib, clothing, collar, crochet, dementia, eating, lewy body, persons living with dementia, PLwD, strategy, symptom

December Pages

Posted on December 28, 2020 by Truthful Kindness

Tru here. These 7 pages were added to my BlogSpace during December.

!! Remember, Links are on colored text, not the pictures !!

Advocacy:

Maureen Kessler on Dementia Friends at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/maureen-kessler/ ;

Harry Urban on Being Santa at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/harry-urban/being-santa/ .

KimJoy Ovard on dementia comfort at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/kimjoy-ovard/pot-dementia/ ;

Missy on SunDowning at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/missy/meltdown/ ;

Cate Lau-Booth on Fear is our Enemy at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/cate-l-b/fear-is-our-enemy/ ;

FamHist:

Michaelis/12-Days Celebration at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/life-other/family-history-index/12-days/ .

Petrin>Wester: Anders in Falun at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/life-other/family-history-index/anders-falun/ .

. * Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”. If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** … If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. Picture Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness on 21Dec2020 (Star is supposed to look embroidered). Tags:.

Holiday Quotes and Pages

Posted on December 17, 2020 by Truthful Kindness

!! Remember, Links are on colored text, not the pictures !!

((above photo was taken when i was young adult looking out the window toward our closest neighbor, with cars slipping and sliding on the road between us))

a few Holiday items on OTHER’S webspace:

Paul Hitchmough and Tommy Dunne song “Hope” at https://youtu.be/dTwminwa5uI .

Christmas Tree analogy from Laurie Scherrer at https://dementiadaze.com/2016/11/29/dementia-christmas-tree-analogy/ ;

George Huba at https://hubaisms.com/2015/11/24/dementia-and-big-family-holidays-mindmaps-on-the-enjoyment-of-all/ .

… from George Rook at https://georgerook51.wordpress.com/2015/12/15/boing-boing-boing/ ;

Grief, Apathy, and Holiday Emotions 1-hr video by Dementia Chats’ panelists at https://youtu.be/2dllBp7vz5I ;

Housing and Holiday strategies 17-min vid with Mark Roberts at https://youtu.be/k1-wjQfeuIs ;

These are some of the holiday-themed Quotes and pages in this blog-space (but again, remember Links are on the TEXT):

Chris Roberts 19 Nov 2014:
It’s Christmas!
Joy and laughter, presents and snow
Turkey, crackers, hats and cake
Children playing, noise and fuss …
Stressed and anxious, feeling low
Shouting and music, nowhere to go
Staring, eyes open, tears they flow
Pacing, talking, walking and walking
Heart racing, pounding, I now feel sick
Head spinning and hurting!
It’s Christmas I think.
© chrisroberts

… ♪♫ … •*¨*•.¸¸♥ ♥ ¸¸.•*¨*• … ♫♪ …

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“Spiritual and Holiday Issues” by Truthful Kindness at https://truthfulkindness.com/2022/12/18/spiritual-holiday-dementia/ ; (above Menorah 2022 has “Shammash” candle in the center.)

Quote from Michael Woods 2014Dec19:
“Dementia – I’m quite wondering what Christmas has come to mean to me,
except I seem to know what it means to everyone else.”

“Retain Routine” by Truthful Kindness at https://truthfulkindness.com/2015/11/10/dst-holiday-confusion-retain-routine/ ;

.“Being Santa“ by Harry Urban at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/harry-urban/being-santa/ ;

Context of Symptoms by Truthful Kindness at https://truthfulkindness.com/2016/12/27/hol-ctxt-hist-sx/ ;

“All I Want for Christmas” by Harry Urban at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/harry-urban/dbl-want-christmas/ ;

Holiday comments from Michael Woods:
2014Dec07: “Dementia – Thought I’d get everyone an Easter card for Christmas, then wait for them to contact me to see how my condition’s progressing.”

20141229 Dec 29: Dementia – In bed Christmas morning, wondering what I’d like to be when I grow up.

2014Dec29: Dementia – Experiencing the last two weeks at a snail’s pace, I must have been travelling at the speed of light – Where’s Christmas?

“Verbal Greetings” by Truthful Kindness at >> https://truthfulkindness.com/2020/01/06/verbal-greetings/ ;

“Apathy at Christmas” by Michelle Montgomery at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/michelle-montgomery/apathy-christmas/ ;

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“Back on Track” by Theresa Montgomery at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/theresa-montgomery/back-on-track/ ;

“Christmas Spirit High” (and recent crafts) by Harry Urban at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/harry-urban/christmas-spirit-high/ ;

Hurting Holiday Prayer by Truthful Kindness at https://truthfulkindness.com/bnp/part-3/hurting-holiday-prayer/ ;

… and “January Sag” by Truthful Kindness at https://truthfulkindness.com/2021/01/10/january-sag/ ;

…

not PLwD: Dr. Elaine Eshbaugh’s suggestions at >> https://whendementiaknocks.com/2021/12/20/ .

not PLwD: Teacher Teepa Snow on Holiday planning at >> https://youtu.be/i1b5cvttcis ;

add some Holiday Art projects from OTHERS:

painting from Kathleen Anduze above.

Photo from Gord Settle (in the Yukon) above

… and other holiday art projects from ME are:

//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js Above is named “Kintsugi” for the Japanese art of repairing pottery using Lacquer covered (or mixed) with precious metals. copyright Truthful L. Kindnes on 20Dec2022.

//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js Above is joint project with me and my daughter. Charlene did the drawing, and i added the color.

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Above is December Star 2021.

.//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js Above is one of my first projects on ProCreate application, with my new iPad; December Star 2020.

. * Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”. If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** … If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness 17Dec2020, but additions were made later. Tags: alzheimers, Christmas, dementia, holiday, Persons Living with Dementia, PLwD, symptom.

November Pages

Posted on November 30, 2020 by Truthful Kindness

Tru here. These 8 pages were recently added to my blogspace.

!! Remember, Links are on colored text, not the pictures !!

Dementia Symptom Perspectives/Harry Urban “Lack of Self-Expression” at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/harry-urban/self-expression-trtl/ ;

BnP/2012: My Experiences of Care-Partnering at https://truthfulkindness.com/bnp/part-3/bnp-3d-2012-u/as-care-partner/ ;

Index Alcohol-Related Dementia at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/d-info/alochol-dementia/ ;

Index Links for Dementia Relationships at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/d-info/links-sx-strategies/relationships/ ;

Med/FMS: Pain Fatigue and Creativity Process at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/life-other/med/pain-fatigue-creativity/ ;

FamHist Spencer branches: “November “Sin” at https://truthfulkindness.com/about/life-other/family-history-index/nov-sin-1663/ .

BnP/2020: Cough at https://truthfulkindness.com/bnp/part-3/cough/ ;

Dementia Symptom Perspectives: Harry’s THANKS at https://truthfulkindness.com/index-persons-with-dementia-pwd/harry-urban/thanks-2014/ .

. * Admin issues: SHARE dementia awareness thru buttons below. Subscribe “FOLLOW” button is at the very bottom of the page, with “Category” Links, “Recent Posts” and “Archive”. If you put your eMail address there you should get an eMail each time i write a blog entry. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the form of comments, but please filter your comments with truthful loving kindness to all concerned. … *** … If there is an advertisement below, I have no control over what is shown. My own full legal name is Truthful Loving Kindness. My current diagnosis is still Mild Cognitive Impairment, but my neurologist said I am in a unique position for helping because I have “one foot in each door”. Text Copyright © Truthful L. Kindness 30Nov2020. Copyright for graphic Truthful Kindness 29Nov2020. Tags:

Person with Dementia Symptoms

Please pass on Dementia Awareness by Sharing:

Please pass on Dementia Awareness by Sharing:

!! Remember, Links are on colored text, not the pictures !!

. Admin Pages are below.

Dementia Symptom Perspectives Pages:

Family History Pages:

Please pass on Dementia Awareness by Sharing:

Please pass on Dementia Awareness by Sharing:

!! Remember, Links are on colored text, not the pictures !!

Please pass on Dementia Awareness by Sharing:

Please pass on Dementia Awareness by Sharing:

Please pass on Dementia Awareness by Sharing:

!! Remember, Links are on colored text, not the pictures !!

Advocacy:

FamHist:

Please pass on Dementia Awareness by Sharing:

!! Remember, Links are on colored text, not the pictures !!

Quote from Michael Woods 2014Dec19: “Dementia – I’m quite wondering what Christmas has come to mean to me, except I seem to know what it means to everyone else.”

Please pass on Dementia Awareness by Sharing:

!! Remember, Links are on colored text, not the pictures !!

Please pass on Dementia Awareness by Sharing:

Quote from Michael Woods 2014Dec19:
“Dementia – I’m quite wondering what Christmas has come to mean to me,
except I seem to know what it means to everyone else.”